By Heart - A BTS Jhope Fanfiction

blinded by his light

I turn around to face the wall and pull the snapback into my face, shaking my hair over my cheeks so that people barely could see my face or mouth moving. The first part of the song is Rapmonster's part, I know It pretty well, since I listened to it on repeat for months and he's always the first one to rap. Sorry Hani, no singing today.

I take a deep breath and put the mic near my mouth to mark the start of my performance. With my feminine voice as deep as possible and only a little pressure behind each word, since it's originally rather powerful song, I begin rapping.

Niga mueoseul hadeun I will kill for

I was grateful for the English verses sprinkled over the lyrics, that seemed to save me from my not-that-perfect-Korean. They were like rewarding bottles of water during a long journey through the desert and something like a checkpoint. Wait, am I performing at a wall? Oops.

I decided to turn around and face my fear. I made it so far, now I can pull it through. Trying and failing is better than not giving my best at all, right? I attempt to convince myself. I should be proud to perform this song.

who the man told you crazy
who the fella told you crazy
I'm better than ya lazy

Nailed it, kinda. After a few more verses my embarrassment is fades and I seem like I'm startingto have fun. I really did not care anymore about how I sounded. Listening to my own voice echoing into the dark faces somehow feels good, even though my pronunciation was not on point sometimes. That beer was necessary.

I go by the name of monster
welcome to the monster plaza
this a cypher I'm a rider
imma ride it like a biker

I freaking love that song. I love BTS and I love Rapmonster for all of these English verses that I manage to pull off like a pro. I smile at that part, causing my voice to convey my chuckle. Hearing the audience applaud, I realized, there was actually somebody watching me, but I am having so much fun at the moment, nothing will embarrass or distract me from this.

I noticed that during my time on that stage I loosened up a bit and started gesturing and moving to the song. I actually feel pretty dope at the moment. My clothes match that Rapper Image as well. Hehe. I smile again.

Man what you afraid of?

It's still a few more lines to go, but the audience seems to have fun as well as they started cheering at my roar in that verse before. As I rap myself towards the refrain, I feel joy for what is coming up. Right, what am I even afraid of?

Haterdeureun manchi
But no problem, I kill

Cheers from the audience. There it is, I pulled off Rap Monster's part. If Hani had told me a week before I will be on a stage rapping to Cypher pt.3 right now, I'd probably would have called her insane or crazy, or both. But I'm more than glad and happy I took the opportunity to do something risky. Today I might have learned something for the rest of my life.

Ohhh the next one is my favourite! It's JHope's part in this song. I am really proud I get to perform his part, since I admire him the most amongst BTS. He is such a passionate sunshine and a talented rapper. I will try my best to do well. Hehe, watch me, Hani.

I smile into the audience, knowing her face is somewhere in the dark in front of me.

bulsineul chamanaen ninjaga dwae dasi dorawatji (end of the refrain)

Bring it on, I am hundred percent ready for the coming verses. As soon as I put the microphone near my mouth the audience is going crazy, like... really crazy, they were almost screaming at me. Huh? Was I doing that well?

"JHOOOOOOOPE!"
I filter out someone's loud scream in the back. Uhm, yes, this is Hobi's part. You realized that very well.

I started to form the first word but got cut off by a male voice in the speaker next to me. Min Holly shit. I freeze.

The person, that continues rapping my beloved favourite song I chose for me to sing on that stage, is no other than BTS Jhope himself. I take a few steps back to stare at him, confused, blank and motionless as he effortlessly mouths the lyrics into the microphone. The audience in front of me still cheering and screaming at us, well... him.

I snap back into reality as someone takes my hand, turning me to face him. What a beautiful smile. Is this really happening? I quickly pinch my cheeks to see if I still feel something. Ouch.
He already sang the last verses of his part and now signals me that the refrain will be up next. I hesitated for a moment but he gives my small hand a sincere squeeze and nods at me encouragingly. What a beautiful face.
Letting go off his hand, I decide to join in. Not as confident as before, though.

Refrain. Sugas Part. Refrain.

I don't even know how I manage to still stand up straight on that stage. All I did was watching him perform, as I mumbled something into the mic from time to time. My expression still revealing how confused and stunned I am. I eye his figure as he raps towards the end of the song. He is so professional. Why am I still up here?

JHope's POV

That was fun! I'ts been a while since I performed Cypher pt.3. Tae must have been so happy to watch me. Even though he wanted to go up here himself. I think to myself as I bow deeply to the audience.

She's cute and has courage to rap. I'm impressed. And to be honest, it was not that bad, and she somehow knew what she was doing when she moved.

Me: "Thank you very much for cheering for us, I hope you had a lot of fun. My name is JHope and this is..." I turned to face her, but end up introducing the audience to empty space.

I look around, scanning the stage to find her, but without success. Oh no. Did I scare her? I thought she was having fun.

As I leave the stage, bowing once more, I look at the Karaoke-System-Guy.

Me: "Hey excuse me, but do you know the girl's name I just performed with?" I almost whisper to him.

Karaoke-System-Guy: "Maybe." He mumbled into his beard with a little chuckle.

Me: "Well...would you be so kind and tell me?" I smiled brightly at him.

Karaoke-System-Guy: "I will tell you, but only if you sign this for me. My daughter is a huge fan of BTS." With a small, thankful bow, he hands me a pink notebook with hearts on it.

I chuckle.
Me: "You know I would have signed it, even if you would not have known her name.",
I put in my autograph and draw a small heart. At least I should go and apologize for ruining the show for her. I just could not not go. It seemed like it would be fun to sing with her.

Karaoke-System-Guy: "And you know I would have told you, even if you refused to sign. It's just about give and take." He smiled. "Thank you, Sir. And her name is Mina. I think the girl over there is her friend". He pointed towards a black haired girl that was on her phone, texting.

10:24pm

Mina's POV

Sorry Hani. I just grabbed my purse and ran out of the restaurant. I think she went to the toilet, because she was not at her table as I rushed by her seat.

It's cold outside, dark and I don't know why I left. Many girls would have cut themselves an arm off to be up there. With him.

What on earth drove him to go up on that stage? Was he forced to? I guess he just lost a bet to Suga or Rap Monster or something else. I took out my phone to text Hani that I'm heading home before hopping on the last bus towards my apartment.

I am so tired.