Sometimes

Chapter thirty-two

Aiden’s distraction worked until we parted ways at the end of the cul-de-sac I lived on.  He’d kept my mind busy all the way home, getting me to name my top ten films, books, and colours.  I’d known he’d only been passing the time as we’d walked side by side, but trying to decide whether purple was better than yellow had kept my mood high and my nerves low.

    We came to a stop next to a road sign and a lamp post.  Aiden danced around the post for a moment, acting the fool and making me laugh, but as soon as his dance ended, so did the distraction.  My expression must have given me away as Aiden let go of the lamp post to squeeze my shoulder.

    “It’ll be okay.  It’s not a life or death meeting.”

I gave him a tight lipped smile, more sure than before that he had no idea that Leanne liked Sonny. 

    No matter which way the meeting with Sonny went; Whether he wanted me to be his girlfriend or he was going to admit the kiss was a mistake, my heart was going to break.  Standing in the cold, my arms wrapped around myself, I knew I was only delaying the inevitable.  I wished I’d never found the email.  The void in my gut wouldn’t be threatening to tear me in half right now if I hadn’t.

    “Come see me after.”  He reached up to brush a hand through his hair.  “I mean, if you want to.”

    “Thanks,” I replied, a sigh slipping out with my words, but I appreciated his friendly nature now more than ever.

He stepped back from me, biting his lip as if he couldn’t quite understand why I looked so defeated.  As far as he knew, Sonny was going to declare his love for me.  My stomach pinched and I held myself harder, almost to try and keep the pieces together.

    Watching Aiden watching me, I suddenly decided that no matter how badly today went, I’d still have him to rely on. I was pretty sure he’d comfort me, even if he didn’t know what for.  It wasn’t a surprise to me then when I closed the gap between us and linked my arms around his neck, hugging him like the good friend he was.  I heard him take a sharp intake of breath and for a moment he didn’t react, but then his hands were on my back.  Something shot through me then; a pleasant tingle that started from where his hands were on my hoody, moving in all directions, spreading warmth along my skin.  This hug felt strangely more intimate than the hand holding in class should have been and I pulled back, hiding my confusion by tucking my hair behind my ears. The hug must have only lasted five seconds, but it had felt like a lifetime. 

    My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, startled.  It was only Mum, asking if I was going to be around for tea, and then I realised what the time must be.

I heard Aiden fidgeting next to me and I looked up from my phone to see him smiling, an eyebrow raised with a meaning I couldn’t translate.

    “You should get going,” he said.  “Don’t want to be late.”

I gripped my phone tight, all the nerves flowing back into me at his statement.  I shook my head.  “I’ll see you later then.”

He nodded and, with a parting salute, jogged off towards his house.  I stood alone on the street corner for a second, staring unseeing at the street sign as I tried to work out what, if anything, had just happened, before I gave up and dragged my feet the rest of the way home.

    Mum had various pots bubbling on the stove when I shut the front door behind me.  The smell of simmering sauces caught in my nose as I crossed to the stairs, all the enthusiasm of a person walking to their death.

   “Oh, there you are.”  Mum’s voice was as warm as the air floating from the kitchen and I turned to see her wiping her hands with a tea towel, soap suds clinging to the rolled up sleeves of her work blouse.  “You’re later than usual.”