Bookworms | ✔

twenty-two

"Dina!"

She paused, breathing heavily as she allowed him to catch up to her. Nicholas ran to her side, determined to help her in whatever way he could. Dina had been there for him when he needed comfort. She pulled him from his dark abyss of mental torture while everyone else ignored him.

It was time for Nicholas to return the favor.

"Hey-" he started before he heard her sniffles. "Are you crying?" he asked, his tone becoming softer.

She clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling the sobs that were begging to escape her, to let the world know her pain, her suffering, to let the world know the damage. Her chest heaved up and down, Dina's gasps being the only sound that managed to shatter his heart into a million pieces.

Nicholas felt her pain, and he wished there was something he could do to fix it. If he could, Nicholas would have taken all her emotional pain away just to see her smile again. He'd do anything to watch her light a room with her laughter. He'd kill to hear her snide remarks on his book tastes, making him feel less lonely in the world.

He bit his lip, not knowing what to do. His fingers clenched into fists, frustration overbearing his senses. His own emotions suffocated him on a daily basis, how would he manage to help her breathe again when he forgot how it felt to breathe in peace?

"I-I'm sorry. This isn't your battle to f-fight. It's mine," she whispered brokenly as she wiped the tears away. "S-Sorry."

At that moment, Nicholas shut his mind off completely, allowing his heart to lead his decision instead of the taunting voice in his head. He came close to her shaking body, breathing in deeply, and wrapped his arms around her fragile form.

Dina went still, absolutely frozen to her spot.

He knew what he did was wrong, but he couldn't find the words to apologize. He had to make sure she was okay. He had to be there for her in every way possible, but the mental nagging didn't stop.

His mind screamed at him to let her go, to free her from his hold and let his dove fly away into her pain instead of bringing Nicholas's baggage with her. Dina sniffled, bringing his attention back to her. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and slowly, she found herself hugging him back.

Shocked, Nicholas loosened his grip, allowing her to escape from him if need be, but she didn't.

"I'm scared," she whimpered. "I'm scared for the Muslim community, for the children that have to listen to those slurs, for the weak-minded who turn their hate into violence just to be heard. I'm so worried, Nemo."

His heart thumped harder against his chest, his cheeks burning. "Shh," he soothed. "It's all going to be okay. I promise."

"How can you promise that?"

He smiled sweetly at her, watching her brown eyes blink up at him. "Because I know you, Dina. You're strong and I know you can tackle any problem in life. I believe in you."

Her eyes watered, glistening with tears and her fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt, wrinkling it. He didn't mind. He had the girl he'd always wanted in his arms. He was proving himself to her.

Nicholas never knew the rush of excitement, knowing that he was the one who made her feel better, to be able to feel her strength grow. He had always shut his emotions off and it came easy to him to just pretend to be okay with life. With Dina, it was a different story.

He felt alive like he was on top of the world, soaring with her side by side, and feeling the ropes of her comfort and confidence wrap around his shattered soul, dragging him to a blissful eternity. It was remarkable how one person could make him feel so dumbstruck and in awe.

Slowly, she leaned on him, resting her head against his chest. He felt her tears soak into his shirt, but he didn't mind. He held her closer, bringing his lips close to her ear. "You'll be okay."

"In Shaa Allah (if God wills it)," she whispered back.

He chuckled to himself, knowing her personality by heart. "Exactly my point," he grinned.

The warmth from his body seemed to get absorbed by Dina's. His conscience grumbled, angry that Nicholas was stepping out of bounds. He knew he was, but the vulnerable look in her eyes when she gazed up at him made Nicholas linger longer. She needed this moment.

As if sensing his thoughts, Dina pulled back, not bothering to wipe her cheeks from pure exhaustion. "W-We can't be like this-" she stuttered.

But Nicholas cut her off with an apologetic look. "I know," he sighed, quickly bringing the pad of his thumb to wipe the stray teardrops away. "I just wanted to make sure you'd be alright if I let go of you."

Forcing a smile on her lips, she nodded. "I'm f-fine."

"Dina."

"What?"

"I'm here for you."

Those words left his lips unexpectedly. Her eyes widened before she recollected herself from the shock, returning his smile even though sadness lurked behind her eyes. No words were needed. The world may have been chaos around them, but they stood together to face it all.

That was a promise Nicholas intended to keep even if it meant forgetting the beliefs he was raised with. He would try for Dina and for himself. 

----

I'm thinking after I finish this book (which isn't anywhere near being done) and my other books, I might submit them to publishers. I don't know. It's rare to see a Muslim author writing Muslim fiction go mainstream. 

I really want to and In Shaa Allah it might happen. 

BACK TO THE BOOK, what do you think Nicholas will try to accomplish?

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