Casting Bones

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The anger felt like poison in my belly. Like venom I'd failed to suck out, thickening the blood in my veins. Infecting my spinal fluid. Flooding my brain. It felt like drowning on air. Like screaming until I was red in the face, without making a sound.

You should disappear. You should stop existing. You're wasting the air you're breathing. The space you inhabit. You don't deserve it. Nobody would even notice if you did it. Nobody would even care.

The thoughts in my head, I'd had them before, more times than I could possibly count, but they didn't feel like mine this time. They sounded off. Like speaking but not hearing your own voice. Like an actor reciting a language they don't know. Like a mocking bird repeating sounds it's frequently heard.

The words belonged to something else. Something dark that must have crept it's way into my cracks without me noticing. When had it found me? When had I invited it in, let it stay, let it make house in my ribcage like it belonged?

Coward. You're a coward. This is why everyone fucks you over. Everyone walks all over you. You let them take advantage. You keep letting them get close and then look what happens. They destroy you.

However long it lived inside, It had stayed quiet. Just a whisper that I could barely hear over my breathing. But now it bellowed, rattled my ribs like the bars of a cell, pounded out a new, impossible rhythm to my heart, and I was deaf to all else.

And it was hungry.

They should disappear. All of them. You should make them disappear. Destroy them. Show them what you really are. Tear them apart. Put them in the ground. Grind up their bones to dust. Drink their blood. Eat their hearts.

My mouth watered.

Start with her.

I was hungry.