Fear Wont Last Forever

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Vic and I haven’t talked for a week. Today was the end of break and I had to go back to school. It was really 1pm but I couldn’t sleep. My mind tends to keep me up a lot at night. I couldn’t get Vic out of my mind the whole break and I was hoping he didn’t regret it. I mean, he would contact me if he didn’t right? Maybe he was using me to ‘test’ if he was gay or something…? I pulled my iPod out and turned it on shuffle, hoping to distract my thoughts, which didn’t work out but at least it made the time go by quickly. My alarm was going off and I turned it off. This was going to be a long day.

~

I walked to school today. I figured since Vic didn’t bother texting me or anything then he probably wasn’t giving me a ride. But I was fine, I needed to sort through my thoughts and think about what I can do about this. I want Vic and I to be friends but after what happened I think us being ‘friends’ will kill me. I also need to actually focus on doing my music assignment because it’s due in 2 weeks and I haven’t done anything. I guess I’ll work with some beats on my laptop and look through my notebook to figure something out.

I saw the school coming into my view and I felt myself shutter. I don’t want to be here. I contemplated skipping and going somewhere for the school day, but I talked myself into going into the school. I don’t understand why I did though. I sighed long and hard while I opened my locker and picked up some of my things for class. I wanted to go back home and sleep because my lack of sleep was starting to hit me just now. This was the first time I wasn’t with Vic this morning and I hadn’t seen him yet which was fine by me I guess. I felt sour towards him because he kissed me like that and then didn’t talk to me after. The bell went and I brushed passed everyone slowly, dreading class today.

I guess the first 2 classes went by fairly quickly because I fell asleep during both of them. But now it was lunch. I grabbed my note book and a pen, and then headed to the cafeteria. I would have gone without food today but I was so hungry I had to. I sat in the usual spot I do every day. I wasn’t looking up or around much cause I figured Vic wasn’t here today. I’ve been here for about a month now and everyone passes by like they have no clue who I am.

I was looking around trying to see if Mike was here even when I noticed something. It hit me like a punch to the gut. Vic was sitting with Brad, Tony, Jaime, and Drew. I was shocked. He said to me he hated them. I was just frozen there staring at them when I decided I’ve had enough of school.

I got up from the bench and grabbed my notebook in a rush to get out of there. There only stood one thing in my way, having to walk passed the table they were sitting at. I could wait until lunch ended but after seeing all this I think I would go ballistic. I clung my books to my chest and then started on my way out of the cafeteria. I was about to finally get out of there when of course, I was tripped. But not by who I expected, I was tripped by Vic. Everything happened as if it were slow motion. My books flew ahead of me and my tray of half-eaten food was now all over me. I felt like crying. All I heard was people laughing at me. I looked up at Vic and he didn’t seem satisfied, honestly he looked a little guilty.

I turned my head and got up off the floor before I could sit there and let people laugh at me while I wallow in self-pity. I picked up my note book and ran to the bathroom to try and clean myself off. Anger was boiling up in my gut and I wanted to hit things. I wanted to scream at Vic for kissing me and then hurting me like that. I cleaned myself off best I could and then stayed in the bathroom until the bell rang, I didn’t want people to see me. After the bell did finally go, I was about to leave when Mike stopped me. I’m not going to lie, he scared me a bit.