If I Stay (COMPLETED)

Chapter 25 - Misha

Embarking on a dangerous mission alone would be completely irrational. If I told Beta Josef, he will want to come along and bring some warriors with us. But working in a hospital I have realized that Michael's pack have lost a great number of warriors. Many died and many were still healing. More than half of the pack was completely out. What was really left was the other pack members who did not train in combat.

Could I really risk taking what was left of this pack and leave them to more vulnerable attacks? The pack was already shaky as it was. People were nervous and chaos was barely under control. Embarking on another mission will only increase the anxiety within the pack. Pregnant female werewolves and pups will be left defenseless.

I thought about this over and over. Coming back home from the hospital, I arrived at the mansion thirty minutes later. Beta Josef was outside talking to Alpha. They turned when they saw me coming up the driveway.

I turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car. I nodded my head at them before walking inside to my bedroom. Sitting on my bed, I ran the numerous possibilities through my mind. The probability that I go alone and survive was slim but the probability of bringing a few strong pack members will increase my chance but not dramatically. I could ask Beta Josef for advice but I know he would insist on bringing whatever was left of the warriors we had in the pack.

The door opened and Lucia walked in. Sebastian following behind. He stayed away from me these past couple of days. I wasn't sure if it was because of our last encounter or just how moody I have been this past week. Lucia sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"You look dreadful, Misha." She said.

I looked up at her, feeling exhausted from all this thinking. My hair was pulled up into a ponytail like every day and my eyes have sunken from all the healing I have done. My appetite wasn't the same. I couldn't eat while thinking about Michael.

Sebastian pushed a bagel into my hand. "You need to eat, Misha. You have been working at the hospital every day and coming home late at night."

"Thank you." I said but made no move to eat the bagel. I stared at it for the longest time. Sebastian said something to Lucia and she stepped out of the room.

He sighed and knelt on the ground before me. He took my hands in his and looked up at me.

"You can't do this to yourself. Alpha Michael wouldn't want you to torture yourself like this."

"I can't help it Sebastian. I feel hopeless. I feel nothing but emptiness. Every time I try to do something my heart hurts. When I go into his room, all I want to do is drop onto the ground and bawl my butt off. I miss him. I miss him so much I'm in so much pain." I gave a bitter laugh. "Funny how I am in so much pain but I am healing people every day."

"You love him that much?" Sebastian asked.

I looked down at him. "Yes, I don't know how. I don't know when but I love him."

He looked sad and defeated. Regardless of his feelings for me, he was still my friend. I didn't want to break that bond or hurt him.

"I knew Michael before all this. I met him at Alpha Natalya's territory." I told him. Sebastian looked up. I got his attention.

"You remember?" He asked.

I nodded, "They come in bits and pieces. I don't have all the pieces of my life together yet but it seemed the most recent memories of mine are reappearing again."

"How is that possible?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Must be me using my power. I can feel it changing me."