Irhaboggle Pride (2018) 30 Days, 30 Stories

Always Alleluia

Cora said nothing as she watched the two groups argue, snarling and spitting at one another. On her left side stood several LGBT people. There was one gay couple, three queer women and two trans people. On her right was a pastor from a nearby church, a young couple from the same church, and an elderly couple from a different one. The fight was just the same as it ever was. Was being queer a sin?

Of course, the people on Cora's left said that it was not. Citing mistranslation as the root cause of the misunderstanding, they believed that God loved and supported every gender and sexuality. Why else would he have created them that way unless he supported it? And likewise, they cited the importance of love over sin. How could God hate creatures that were shaped by love? And whatever sin might come from homosexuality was surely absolved by the love that could be born from such a union as well.

But, equally predictable, the people on Cora's right were in adamant disagreement. They took issue with anyone who would dare question God. It was written in the Bible several times over that the preferred orientation was a male-female union that provided offspring. Were the instructions and implications not clear enough already? They had not been born queer out of love, but out of sin. Now it was their job to overcome that natural sin. No matter how appealing homosexuality seemed, the root of that tree was still wrong, and it needed to be corrected.

"Love the sinner, hate the sin!" they insisted. "God loves you as a person, but he hates your sin. Think of it like a person with a flaw. You may love someone, but if they engaged in an unhealthy behavior, you'd want them to change that behavior, for their sake!"

"But how is being gay an unhealthy flaw?" one of the people on Cora's left asked.

"Even if it feels good to you, it goes against the natural, logical order of a male and female having a child," the pastor replied.

"So what is your opinion on adoption and couples who choose not to have children?" one of the gay men asked.

"They are not in sin because they are still married couples."

"Well, first of all, how do you know that? Second of all, then fine, let us just get married and we can call it even."

"But a homosexual union, by definition, is not a marriage."

"So all same-sex relations are a problem by default? You believe there is no way to conduct a healthy, productive same-sex relationship?"

"No, because by definition, a homosexual relationship is not what God desires for humanity. Even if it does not appear to cause any outward harm, it is not what God wanted for us, and that is what makes it a sin."

"But how are you sure it ISN'T what he wants for us?"

"How are you sure that it IS?"

This was how all likeminded arguments went. Cora had seen plenty in the past few months. It didn't matter where the debate began, they always ended in the same way. Someone would pull the "it is, or isn't, God's will!" card and the other side couldn't quite oppose since neither side could really be sure whether or not it was true. There was just too much evidence pointing in either direction. One could tailor any argument to support their side, if they so wished, so how was anybody to know what was right and what was wrong?

"And even if homosexuality itself is not a sin, don't you think the vehemence you're using to question God is?" one member of the elderly couple asked. "Rather than rest and just believe, you continue to question Him in hopes of receiving a desired answer."

"But God encouraged the doubtful to come to him!" one of the queer women cried, citing the story of "Doubting Thomas".

"He also said he was not to be tested!" the other member of the elderly couple retorted, citing Deuteronomy 6:16, Matthew 4:7 and Luke 4:12. "How can you call yourselves Christians if you doubt your own God so thoroughly?"

"Well, are you implying that blind faith, obedience without question, is what God wants?"

"Yes. But it is not blind faith. Why is that so hard to understand? How else are you supposed to prove your devotion to him?"

"I mean, how can you call a God that pushy and demanding, loving?"

Cora sucked in a breath. At the same time, the people on her right cried out in outrage. Yep. Now they were onto this part of the argument. Time to once again discuss how selfless God had been, and how lucky any of them were to even be able to worship him. Both sides carried on, the people on Cora's right insisting that the only way to be a Christian was to give oneself up to God, even if it made that person uncomfortable. Trust in him, even when it's hard, and you will be greatly rewarded. At the same time, those on Cora's left insisted that devotion that blind was not love, but obsession. If asking questions was a sin, then maybe the religion in question wasn't one worth following...

"It doesn't matter whether you want to follow it or not. That's just the reality of the world we live in. You can choose to disbelieve if you want. God gave you free will. Just don't come crying to him later when your day of judgement finally comes," the pastor remarked grimly.

"Besides," Cora suddenly found herself piping up, "wouldn't it be better to play it safe? I mean, what do you have to lose? All you have to do is just not commit any homosexual acts, right? Because it shows God that you are willing to submit to him. Isn't that its own reward?" But even though she was the one to say it, she wasn't quite able to believe it.

"Well said, Cora," the younger couple looked at her admiringly and she gave them a pained smile in return. She felt like such a dirty liar, preaching something she couldn't even bring herself to believe in. If anything, the only reason she was preaching at all was because she hoped that, one day, she would be able to believe. Maybe someday, her eyes would be opened too, and God would enlighten her so that she could finally start understanding and believing everything that she was saying.

But for now, she was in serious doubt, longing to side with the group on her left. But her forethought forbade her from doing it. Her eternal soul was on the line! She had no time for weakness! No time for doubt! No time to let fear or desire get in the way of the truth! Even if she wanted to live in a world where this sort of thing was ok, it was just like the pastor had said, reality was what it was. Even if it was uncomfortable, that changed nothing. So they could either take it or leave it.

Blessedly, the debate did not last much longer. The group on the left finally got tired of arguing and began to move away.

"You may be able to flee from us, but you cannot flee from the eyes of God!" the young couple called out after them, but they received no reply. Although, one of the queer women did shoot Cora a look. Was that... sympathy in her eyes? She said nothing, but she didn't need to. Not only did her expression cover it, but Cora looked away only a second later, unwilling to confront what the woman was trying to convey.

"I'm sorry, but God's word is Eternal, and His word is Law," she muttered. Her stomach twisted as she said this, but she refused to back down. They could either take it or leave it. The other guys had obviously chosen to leave it, and there was no room for lukewarm Christians, so Cora was going to make her own decision now. She was going to take it, to the very best of her ability, and maybe someday, that devotion would be recognized and rewarded. But regardless, she was going to take all of it and say, "Always alleluia."