Irhaboggle Pride (2018) 30 Days, 30 Stories

Cowardice

As the days passed, Carmilla's displays of affection increased in frequency and intensity. Elle never said a word against any of it, but it made her blush whenever Carmilla kissed her, or left a hand on her leg for just a little too long. Elle was no longer able to meet the eyes of some of her keener servants. She knew what was doing was wrong, but it just felt so good. Carmilla just felt so right. In both word and deed, Elle loved everything that Carmilla did, and she could never bring herself to tell Carmilla to stop.

"I am such a coward," Elle sighed.

"What do you mean?" Carmilla asked, sounding hurt that Elle would speak so negatively of herself.

"You shower me in kisses and affection. You have feelings for me, do you not?" Elle replied.

For a moment, Carmilla said nothing, but then she began to nod, and with that all-too-familiar voice, husky and fervent, she agreed.

"I do, Elle, I do. I love you more than anything in the world, and it would bring me great pleasure to know you feel the same!" she said.

"But that's just it, Carmilla!" Elle exclaimed. "I don't know if I do."

"You don't know if you love me?" Carmilla sounded hurt and Elle instantly felt bad.

"I mean, I do," she amended. "But I am afraid."

"Of what? You know I'd never hurt you," Carmilla promised, taking Elle's hand into her own.

"I know you wouldn't, but what of the rest of the world?" Elle asked. "What if someone were to find out?"

"You needn't worry about that, darling," Carmilla promised softly, kissing Elle's cheek and dragging her lips across her friend's skin. "I won't let anybody hurt you, ever. I promise you that."

Just for that moment, Elle's fears had been assuaged, and she felt a little bit braver. But it seemed that all good things had to come to an end eventually. Scarcely a month later, a horrifying truth came to light.

"Your guest, Carmilla, is not all that she claims to be!" Elle turned to see an elderly woman flagging her down from across the marketplace.

"Wh-what? H-how do you know Carmilla?" Elle was frightened, but curiosity drove her to the other woman.

"It doesn't matter how I know her! What matters is what I know!" the woman insisted urgently. "She is a vampire!"

At first, Elle had nearly laughed, certain the old woman was just delusional, but as she began to argue her case, more and more evidence came to light. But what frightened Elle more than finding out that Carmilla was a vampire was realizing that maybe Carmilla didn't love her after all. One of the things the woman told her was that vampires did not have the ability to love. The closest they could get was a twisted obsession.

"They feel nothing for anything or anyone, except themselves!" the woman insisted. "If she showed you any sort of affection, it was only because she saw you as valuable to her, not because she actually cared about you as a person!"

So... all of Carmilla's words and promises, and her kisses and caresses... it had all only just been a lie.

ooo

"I should've known. I should've realized! I should've suspected... But I didn't! I didn't... I was too afraid..." Elle paced her library, waiting for Carmilla to arrive. It scared her to death to do this, but she had to. She had to be sure! And the only way to do that was to confront the vampire herself. "I should've known someone like her could never really love someone like me... It was too good to be true..."