Chapter XIII

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I rock up to the house and pull the jeep into the garage.
As I walk out from the garage I feel the heavy air hit my face along with the rain that falls mercilessly pushing my hair further to my eyes.
I stand there for a few moment thinking about everything that just happened. I was such a dick to her, I didn't once give her a chance to explain before I insulted her.
All I can see is the hurt in her eyes, those big blue eyes- god I was such an idiot- she's never going to forgive me.
After a while I decided to go inside, I changed into a pair of sweats and a loose white t-shirt.
I walk into the lounge and slump myself of the sofa feeling the comfortable cushion sink underneath me.
Samantha has hardly anything and she works her ass off just to keep her and her brother living, and this whole time I thought she was lying.
I shift uncontrollably as something scratches against my back, I move my hand to feel a cold object stuck in between the cushions.
I pull out the object seeing it was the phone I gave to Samantha, I open the phone and the messages app was already open.
The last text she sent was too me saying she's on her way here. I click off my conversation and see that there is only one other person she has messaged. The name Emma is at the top, I scroll up to the first message Samantha sent to Emma it's says;

Hiya Emma,
It's Samantha from the bar not sure if you remember me, you gave me this number incase I ever got a phone well I do now aha, anyways just wanted to say hi. X

She seemed so socially awkward over text it made me chuckle slightly. I continue reading their messages feeling guilty because I know that I shouldn't but she's never going to see me again.

Hey Samantha,
Of course I remember you, I come in every Tuesday and Friday to order cocktails :) how did you manage to get a phone girl? Did they finally give you a pay rise? X

Only in my dreams would I ever get a pay rise.
I met a guy, he seems real nice, not that I'll tell him that, but he's a really good friend.
He gave me this phone because he didn't want to worry if I got into trouble. X

Ooooohhhh girl sounds like you got a case of the crushes. That boy likes you and don't even try and deny it.
What is he like? Is he cute? Is he taller than you? Does he smell good? X

Woah woah easy there Emma, I hardly know the guy we're just friends. Besides he would never be interested in me in that way. I'm a no body. X

Okay I don't know what type of depressing rollercoaster you're on but get your head out the gutter Samantha! Until you go out there and give it your all and really get to know him you'll never know if it was meant to be! X

You're just a big romantic aren't you aha. X

What can I say I got a big heart and a lot of loving to do. So are you going to go for it? X

No Emma, I can't. I've got too much to think about right now plus the school year is almost over that mean that I have to hire someone to look after Mathew while I work. I think we're better of as friends. But hey who knows what the future has in stock maybe one day I'll meet my Prince Charming. X

True I hear you girl, I feel bad that you have to put your life on hold for the people around you. You know if you need someone to look after Mathew for a day or two every now and then I can do it for you.
You're one tough cookie to have not crumbled this far.(see what I did there ;) x

Yeah Emma I did :) thank you so much that means a lot but I can't ask you to do that for me.
I should probably go I'll speak to you soon. X

Nonsense kids love me.
Okay. Catch you later sammy. X

I lay the phone on my chest as I let out a long breath. She though I was nice and she could be herself around me, and I've gone a pushed her away.
I know that I can't go and talk to her because she'll hate me even more.
I sigh some more feeling sorry for my self- I know I shouldn't but I've never had someone talk to me in that way, I'm a rich brat remember- I pick up the phone and open up her photos seeing she has taken a couple photos.
I click on the folder and see only 3 photos, she's taken photos of the photos she has in her apartment, there's the one she was holding in her hands in the apartment.
It's a picture of her father. He's wearing overalls that are covered in oil stains, with his hands wrapped in a cloth cleaning his hands. He must have been a mechanic.
The next photo is of her father and what looks like Samantha but when she was little, Samantha has her arms hooked over her dads neck as he lifts her into the air. A small smile forms on my face she looks so happy looking into her dads eyes showing him a toothy smile.
I swipe to the next one seeing it's a photo booth collection of photos of  her brother and her pulling silly faces. Her brother has his hands next to his ears with his mouth open looking shocked. Samantha has her eyes wide open and poking out her tongue. The one below it it's similar.
The next one under that one Samantha is kissing Mathews cheek and he's scrunching his face, I laugh a little as she looks like an embarrassing mom.
I feel like a part of me has left as I walked out of Samantha's apartment, I don't even know why I'm feeling this way I hardly know Samantha, but I feel for the amount of time I have know her she's the only person who has really understood me, she didn't treat me like I'm famous she treated me like a friend,  a close friend and I shoved that back in her face.
I locked the phone putting it on the coffee table and burying my head in my hands.

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The door closes, He's gone. Finlay's gone. I cry to myself for a while staring into the photo of my father. He was the only person I needed in my life, every time I needed a shoulder to cry on her would be there.
He said he would never leave and would always be by my side.
My lip quivered as I try to stop myself from crying.
When my dad fell ill I knew he didn't have long left, my heart knew but my head refused to believe he was sick. I made myself believe he was getting better even when he was getting worse.
At this time my mother was so close to giving birth that she couldn't stand going to the hospital to see him so it was just me and only me that was by his side.

I place the photo down on the side. I told my dad I would be strong for Mathew, but right now I need this, of course I'll smile and pretend I'm okay when Mathew comes back but right now I can't lie to my self I miss him.
I let out a slow exhausted breath and bury my head in my hands.

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