Chapter XXXIII THE END

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Today's the day I go back, I want to because I haven't seen Mathew in so long but a small part wants me to stay. Everything is so good here, for once I forgot about my messed up life. I stopped caring and I loved it.
Finlay has a show today so he's over at the stadium preparing his songs and dances, while I'm here folding my shorts to put back into my duffle bag. I let out a huff as I zip up the bag and throw it off the bed, I grab my phone seeing a text from Finlay.

Can't wait to see you tonight. Xxx

I smile longingly before jumping onto the bed taking a deep breath smelling Finlay's sweet chocolate and honey scent. I don't want anything to change between us when I leave, I don't want us to go back to how it was. I finally got him and him only and that's how I want to stay. I get up slinging the bag over my shoulder and start to walk out the hotel room, I want to stay really I do, I want to be with Finlay and I want Mathew here with me but I cant it would be unfair on Mathew. Fates given me a cross road between the life I want and the life I got, I want a life care free, on the road with the people I love but life has given me the opposite and there's nothing I can do apart from accept it.

I get into my car chucking the bag behind me, I start the car feeling it jolt before pulling off the curb. It doesn't take me long to reach the stadium, I walk to the doors flashing my badge to the security before walking in. The sound of people rushing around and dancers shoes on the wooden floor is like music to my ears. I rush over to Kylee pulling her into a hug, she squeals my name returning the hug.
"I'm going to miss you so much, Sammy" she says before pulling away from our hug, through out the short time I've been here Kylee has been my friend through all of it, anything I needed she's always been here.
"I'm going to miss you too but as soon as tour ends you have to come see me" I say stuffing my hands into my pockets of my hoodie. Kylee nods her head excitedly, she was about to say something else before we heard someone calling her name.
"Oh duty calls, Finlay's show is almost over if you wanted to wait in his dressing room" I give her a small smile before walking our separate ways.
I quietly shut the door behind me letting out a sad sigh, I look around seeing empty popcorn bags along the floor and an unopened bag of skittles. I laugh to myself as I pick up his rubbish and throw it into the bin.
I slump onto the couch instantly feeling relaxed.
You see it's funny now I'm thinking about how we first met, maybe it was fate. Maybe there is someone who's looking down on me, giving me a love I could never imagine. Maybe not all coincidence are bad luck or just simply stupidity, maybe it was fate that threw me into this whirlpool of love and lust with out a life jacket. If I had never have met Finlay I would be living a dull and emotionless life, but he was that burst of colour that became addictive and it scares me. It scares me to think how much I need him.
"Hey" a gorgeous voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn to see Finlay showing off his pearly whites in a cheeky smile.
"Hey" I give him a small smile while standing up. Finlay wraps his arms around my waist before planting a soft kiss onto my lips. My stomach twists as his hands tighten around my waist, feeling my cheeks heat up I smile breaking our kiss.
Finlay rests his head against my forehead as I wrap my arms around him, god I wish this could last forever.
"When are you leaving?" Finlay asks in a sad tone.
"Soon, I just wanted to say good bye. Mathews plane should be getting back about 3 in the morning, so if I leave now I'll make it to the airport in time." I say snuggling my head into his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair.
"I told you, I could take you. Or someone can come with you" his tired voice echos through the room.
"It's okay, I want some alone time with Matthew, I haven't seen him in ages" I pull out my phone from my pocket checking the time. Shit I better leave.
I look up to Finlay's sad face before giving him a strong passionate kiss.
"Don't look so sad. You'll see me again" Finlay lets out a small laugh before walking me out of the stadium and to my car, where anxious fans are screaming his name from the fence surrounding the car park.
I get in feeling the not-so-soft cushion underneath me, Finlay reaches down to my level giving me a kiss on my cheek.
"Be safe, let me know when you get home" and with that said he closes the door and waves as I pull of away from the car park.
The journey home was long and frustrating, you think that driving so late means that there's no traffic, think again. The roads out of Salt Lake City were queued back for at least an hour. I tap impatiently on the steering wheel, maybe this is a sign that I should have never left, or that I should pick up Mathew and take him with me. I probably sound crazy right now.

The tires screech round the bend of the car park trying to find and place to park. I pull into a space and jump out of the car. I'm a couple minutes late so I sprint through the car park and into the entrance of the airport, I feel my heart beat with excitement.
I scan around looking for any sign of Mathew and his class but nothing yet, they must not have landed yet. I stand close to the entrance folding my arms over my chest to keep myself warm from the constant cool breeze that brushes past my body.
"SAMMY!!!" I hear from across the room, my eyes shoot up seeing a very excited Mathew running towards me with open arms. I run towards Mathew smiling brightly at him, god I've missed him. I swallow him into a hug and squeeze until I realise I'm probably hurting him, I let go seeing his bright cheesy smile beaming at me. Bless him he looks exhausted, with small dark circles around his eyes and his eye lips that are slowly drooping by the second.

"Come on buddie lets take you home, but I want to hear all about it tomorrow" Mathew nods his head rapidly before pulling me back into a hug.
"I love you sammy" he whispers in my ear. I pull away from him and kiss his forehead.
"I love you too Mathew" we walk hand in hand back to my car where we put Mathews bags in the trunk of my car. The ride home was quite as Mathew fell asleep shortly after getting in the car. I took about an hour to get home and now I'm exhausted, I carry Mathew in my arms up to our apartment and everything was just how I left it.
I tuck Mathew into his bed before giving him a kiss goodnight. I walk into my room instantly feeling the freezing cold air send a chill through my body, now this I did not miss.
I throw myself onto the cold, hard and unforgiving bed and tuck myself into the small sheet. As soon as my head hits my pillow I feel my eyes draw close into a deep sleep.

The sound of a faint ringing came from my the side of my room, I peel my eyes open seeing the my breath create small clouds around me. I look over to my bed side table seeing Finlay calling me, I wince remembering I forgot to message him back. I grab my phone and start to slide the answer button when I hear a loud knocking at my door. What is it now.
I chuck my phone onto my bed as I know I can ring Finlay back. I let out a yawn as I dazedly walk to my front door. I swear if it's my neighbour I'm going to cry.
I swing the door open and stare petrified at the face in front of me. I believed in fate for a single second and became foolish to its lies, it's fantasies of love and happiness consumed me into utter disbelief of my own bad luck. My life consists of fuck up after fuck up and this is one of them.
"Mom?"

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