The Pen-Pal Project (Larry Stylinson + Niam Horayne)

-Letters from Hall Cross-

HazzaBear,

That's the most messed up thing i've ever read, it actually made me feel physically sick that a human could do that to another... i hope you're ok...

HOW DARE NIALL DO THIS TO ME! although, i kind of like the fact you called me that. I hope you're well, and that hospital food isn't too gross. I drew a picture of you, i hope it doesn't offend you but it's generally the best picture i've ever drawn.

To cheer you up i'll tell you how I kind of blew up the toaster this morning... Mum walked in and i was standing in front of it...

Mum: 'Did you just call the toaster a Douchebag?'

Sexy Lou: Maybe

M: What do you think you're doing?

SL: I tried to make toast

M: You blew up my toaster?

SL: Well you could say that, or you could say 'yay time to go shopping for a new toaster' it was old anyway

M: Twenty days old

SL: See, Old!

M: Boobear

SL: Sorry Mum

M: It's Fine

SL: I just-

M:What is it Boobear?

SL: I just wish i wasn't on fire

and that's when she screamed and threw me on the grass...

Then i went to school, and it was break. I was really bored, so i decided to try and eat a packet of biscuits whole, i don't advise it, it was like trying to eat a garden gnome. not that i've tried to eat one of those. recently.

Then we were performing in front of the class in music, and i was singing. I got that funny feeling in my stomach that people say is butterflies. Honestly it felt more like gerbils. but that leads me onto... HAZZABEAR WE'RE GOING TO MEET IN DECEMBER!!! i expect a christmas present, whats you're ideal Christmas present?

Eleanor is being so unreasonable to me Hazza, and i don't know what i've done, but she won't get off my back. So i have a plan. I'm going to buy her stickers, she then can go crazy for hours and not be a bitch to me!

i bought stickers but now i want to keep the and stick them on my bedroom wall...

I swear i'm a bad influence on my little sisters, They're becoming cheekier by the day. I'd been playing football at the local park with a few of my friends, and when i got back, know what Daisy did? she walked up to me and wrinkled her nose. But that's not all. She told me i smelt like a dead ocelot. Charming. So i told her i'd put a Zombie in her wardrobe. 

i'm awesome at football though. not going to lie. It's like i'm a speeded up person, almost like i have four legs and arms.

Well, this Octopus has got to fly.

That just sounded awkward.

know something else that's awkward? When strippers take off their clothes. don't you think?

Lou

Leeyum,

I actually felt mildly hungry today, so that's good. Every one is worried about me, but i'm fine. Here is a picture i drew of what i expect you to look like, a warning. wild hamsters would learn ninja skills and take over the world just to steal that tree, look after it :)

I apologised to Stan and now we're friends again, plus he's said he won't touch my food again so that's a bonus!

mum's on the phone but the reception is really bad. I'm staying with her this week while dad is on holiday, but all i can here is her shouting

'You want me to refrigerate your whale?'

'no, wait you want to bury a snail?'

'your cat stood on your tail?'

'Oh you want me to bail you out of jail, wait. GREG, WHY ARE YOU IN JAIL?!?'

turns out he was arrested while drunk shouting at a boy saying 'I will punch you all and date all your girlfriends' he was seeing about triple apparently.

I had to talk to a police man! i was so scared, but it's ok, i didn't spit when i spoke!

I have decided that to help your awkwardness, you need to stop looking at your parents as if they're crazy and instead you should join in.

No organising, and i'll ask Louis to ask Harry how you're doing about that.

Talking about Harry and Louis, i have some news for Harry that Louis most likely hasn't told him. We were at the field yesterday and Louis ran into the goal post, he got mild concussion. Well as i was taking him home (being the most awesome friend that i am) when Louis decided to pretend to be a cat... his words being 'if i pretend i'm a cat, do you think Harry will like me more' 

ok, that just about sums it up. 

Nialler

Zayn,

How's your arm coming along?

The teacher made me write to you, but you didn't reply to my last letter so i'm not sure what to write,

i'm not too impressed by that though.

i'm surprised your teacher didn't get on your back about it, well i have to go

Cher is trying to jump on me and i need to beat her up, see ya!

Perrie