Jab Bana Uska Hi Bana ~ AVNEIL

Part Three

Neil's POV:

"Avni, Avni" I was shouting so loudly, my throat was raw, the smoke clouding my vision, I couldnt lose her, I just couldnt. She had brought the light back into my world when all I had was darkness, without her I was nothing, without Avni, there would never be Neil. It didn't seem to matter how the smoke was slowly burning my lungs, my eyes burnt with the effort of trying to see through the fire, it didn't matter, nothing mattered but her.

"Neil" she shouted before a rough hand locked around her throat, I watched frozen as she grappled with her assailant and her body went flying over the balcony, I wanted to move, I wanted to go to her, but I couldnt, in to much disbelief for this to be real.

I ran, like I had never ran before, down the stairs of the burning building we had made our own and called home. Finally arriving outside I fell on my knees and skidded across the wet grass to her, I held her hand and put her head on my lap

"Stars" she whispered, looking up at the bright sky, "ill be one of them" she said again before coughing loudly

"Dont talk like that, nothing will happen to you, im here, when have I ever let anything happen to you"  I cupped her face, needing to touch her, feel her, to remind myself that she was here and she was going to be okay. I would keep her safe, like always.

Her hand was cold in mine as she shivered, she brought my hand to her stomach and smiled, her eyes teary, mine were too, it angered me that my tears were blurring my vision, making me unable to see her properly. Her eyes closed slowly and her beautiful face paled, her hand dropping from mine, nothing calmed my racing heart that day, nothing made my pain go away and I vowed revenge for my loss, of the woman I loved and the child we were meant to parent

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Avni's POV:

I opened my eyes to see Neil tossing and turning, his left hand gripped onto the sheet tightly and he let out a shout before jolting up and looking at me, I jumped back in shock at the pure terror in his eyes, like a wounded animal he looked to me like I was his salvation, his cure for the pain he had suffered

He cupped my cheeks, raining kisses over my face, "You're alive, you're here with me" I could feel his heart racing against my hand, what had got him so scared? Of course I was alive, what ever would make him think otherwise? "I cant lose you, not again, I let you down, I let you down, its my fault you're like this" 
He jumped off the bed and ran out, leaving me alone again, confused and very hurt by his reaction, how had he let me down? 

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2 weeks had passed, everytime I entered a room that Neil was in, he would always leave. He was never around me for longer than a few seconds, it made me feel even more lonely in this house, it made no sense to me how protective he was of me but then 2 weeks later, it was like I was non existant. I looked up, not expecting to see Neil stood infront of me, his eyes were a dark red, his hair messily drooping over his forehead, he looked tired and pained. "Why are you avoiding me" I asked, I planned out this big speech previously, but now he was stood infront of me, I had forgotten all of it. Truth was, it bothered me, it bothered me a lot that he had been ignoring me.

"So you've noticed then" 

"How could I not"

"You know ive waited for the day you would notice my presence the way I notice yours, it means the world to me that you have missed me, even if it will never be as much as I miss you" 

"I havent missed you" I bit back, but felt instant regret when he lowered his head and his eyes shone with unshed tears. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, go to him and have my feelings put to the side or show him how hurt I was but hurt him while I did so.

"I havent been avoiding you, I just cant be around you when you're like this, I hate myself for not keeping the vows I made to you the day we married, for not protecting you like I should have, im no good for you" 

"So what, you're just gonna give up" it bothered me immensely, I felt like nothing to him, absolutely nothing

He looked shocked, shaking his head quickly "No, I never will, im sorry if me being distant affected you" 

I shrugged "Im lonely here, and I dont understand why you just left", I pursed my lips, tears once again burning my eyes

Before I knew it, he was holding me to him, whispering sweet nothings into my hair "I will never leave, im sorry" I nodded, accepting his apology, I had no idea what to do with this broken man, it was all in my hands and I was fearful of the power I held over him, when he pulled away, I felt empty, he turned quickly and walked away

I leaned back against the wall, allowing the pain of the 2 weeks to catch up with me "I did miss you" I whispered to no one. What good would it do now? It wasn't healthy to feel these things for a man who wouldn't let me leave. Stockholm syndrome, that's what it was. He wasn't my husband, I wasn't his wife.