Jab Bana Uska Hi Bana ~ AVNEIL

Part Five

Avni's POV:

I let out a loud huff, my eyes fell on the bedside clock, three am, hours had passed since I had got into bed and I hadn't slept a wink as yet. I didnt expect to hear shouting from Neil's room. I got up as quickly as I could and ran to him, he tossed and turned, a tormented expression on his face "Avni" he shouted,

I rushed to him, cradling him in my arms till his soft sobs became heavy breaths on my neck

"What are you doing here" he asked, looking away from me, clearly embarassed, the feeling made me ill, I didn't want him to be embarassed around me.

"I came to see if you were okay" 

"I couldn't save you, I came home one day from work, earlier than usual because you said you had good news for me, but all I saw was fire, so thick I couldn't even make out if our house was ours, I got in eventually, I couldnt see you and then, I watched as someone shoved you off the balcony and your scream as you hit the floor, I can still hear it" his voice was now a whisper, his breathing still so heavy, as if reliving it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just, it's still so fresh, I couldn't move, frozen to the ground, I eventually moved, getting to you, you put my hand on your stomach, told me you would become a star and then you died, the ambulance got to you just in time and re-started your heartbeat, but the baby, our baby didnt make the smoke inhalation and the fall"

I raised my hand, covering his mouth, his tears falling onto my hand, he was destroyed, so destroyed, I was scared I would never be able to fix him. His words were so hard to hear, I couldn't imagine how it must have felt for him "You dont have to talk about this, if you dont want to" he pressed a kiss to my open palm then removed my hand

"No, you deserve to know, that was the last time you looked at me with love in those beautiful brown orbs of yours, when you woke up, you had no idea who I was, all you knew was your first name, and you didnt have any family anyway, so it wasnt an issue, the doctor told me you would regain your memory in a week, that it was temporary, I wanted nothing more than to hold you in my arms, but as I tried you screamed so loud I had to be dragged away from you, I could see my reflection in those wide eyes of yours, and you feared me, so scared infact that you passed out, had a fit and the doctor told me you would never regain your memory, but thats okay, because I will love you anyway, even if you will never love me" he looked up at me, a smile on his face, eyes full of childlike innocence

So that's why he kept blaming himself. How was any of this his fault, for so long I had questioned his sincerity, but now as I watched him breakdown again, I knew he was truthful, that I was his wife. I pulled myself away from him, not wanting him to feel at fault anymore, but my actions were misconstrued.

"See, now you hate me again and you're going to leave, just go, its okay, I will be fine, im the monster who tried to keep a woman as pure, sweet and as kind as you here, that wasn't my right" the way his voice broke hit me hard, I felt sick. I knew what I wanted, I wanted him to love me like he did before, without bounds, I wanted to be showered in adoration and care, I wanted all he could offer because I knew, no one could ever love me like Neil could, no one could ever give me up even though it killed them, only he could, only the purest kind of love could do these things and I was lucky enough to have someone who was offering it all to me

I climbed into his lap, cradling his head against my chest, I rested my chin ontop his head and closed my eyes "I want to stay, if its okay with you and if you will still have me, I want to be able to learn about you all over again"

He looked up at me, a vulnerable look in his eyes "You promise to stay" I nodded, I couldnt leave, even if I wanted to, I would miss him too much "I will make it worth your while, I will love you so much, you wont want or need for anything" he gripped my hips tightly "I will, I promise" he nodded, trying to assure me but it was unecessary

"Neil please, you dont have to impress me" his eyes clouded over

"But if I dont, you will leave" his thumbs circled my hands, eyes soft and tone laced with despair

"I will stay because you love me, because its here I feel the safest, some are lucky to have any kind of love at all, I have someone who loves me even more than I could ever wish for, I wont give that up" 

He led me down next to him, stroking my hair he pulled me closer and snuggled up next to me. My face lay in the crook of his neck, he breathed in my scent and hummed before tracing my arm with his finger and closing his eyes, Neil was mine and I would do all I could to hold onto him

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The next morning, Neil smiled at me, he was all dressed up in a navy blue shirt, a black blazer and black trousers, his tie as blue as the night sky. "Remember I have to go away for a week for work, will you be okay alone, my best guards are here" 

Of course he was nervous about leaving me, I could sense it, I stood up, kissing his cheek "I will be safe, take care" 

My hand held his for maybe a little longer than necessary, I eventually let go and watched him walk downstairs, I had no idea what to do with myself for a week, and a week without Neil was one I would most definitely struggle with.

Apologies for late updates, I am back at uni and am struggling to get myself in a schedule. But as soon as I sort my life out, updates will be more regular, please just bare with me, my late updates annoy me too!

Also, I am having issues replying on comments, i'm not sure why must be a Wattpad error, either way I am reading what you're saying, i'm sorry if I have not replied, it hasn't been intentional, please don't stop commenting it makes my day. In regards to other updates, they're coming don't stress