Behind These Wings

Cobwebs

Andrew rolled over and brushed his light brown hair out of his sleep filled eyes to find the previously occupied other side of the bed now empty.

She had gone. Again.

Reaching out a hand to the space where his wife had laid a few hours earlier he once more questioned whether the night's events had all just been an elaborate dream thought up by his crazed subconscious just to torture him that little bit more.

It wouldn't be the first time.

However, this time was different. The space on the bed beside him was still warm, obviously only recently vacated, the pillow next to his held the slight indentation of a head and his wife's familiar scent hung teasingly to the air around him. She was so close yet still not there.

He raised his eyes and scanned the bedroom that they shared. He registered Izzy's bedside table with one of the draws slightly open, her wardrobe standing next to his seemingly undisturbed and her dressing table burdened with numerous products looking exactly the same as six months ago except for the flowers that he had brought for her the day before she had left. The rose buds hung low now, their browned petals crumbling onto the polished white surface of the dressing table but Drew couldn't bring himself to throw them away. He had promised himself every night that tomorrow would be the day. Tomorrow he would finally be able to let go and start to move on.

That tomorrow never came.

Clinging as tightly as he could onto the small things, he even found himself spraying her perfume around the room occasionally to fool his grieving mind that his Izzy was still there with him.

He could say that things had started to get better. He could say that each morning he found getting out of bed that little bit easier. He could say that the nightmares had started to relent.

Every word of that would have been a lie.

The pain of her disappearance from his life became more potent with every passing day. Nothing could stop it, only her return.

Quickly releasing his body from the constraints of the heavy duvet, Andrew attempted to tug on a pair of white linen trousers as quickly as possible. If the bed was still warm then she couldn't have managed to get very far; they may still be able to catch her.

He may still have time to prevent a repetition of the past months.

He was just about to negotiate the second foot hole with his reluctant right foot, whilst teetering on the left leg, when the door to the en-suite bathroom opened and knocked into him causing him to lose his balance and tumble to the wooden floor. Recovering quickly, Andrew was on his feet in a few seconds and had encased his wife's petite form within a bone crushing embrace without consciously making the decision to move.

"I thought that you had left again." Andrew muttered into Isabelle's hair, his fingers tangling themselves within the soft brunette strands in an effort to entwine the two of them; binding them together.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Isabelle replied rather robotically as she stood stiffly within Drew's hold. She had to fight the instinct to give into his strong arms, to allow herself to relax within the security of his presence, for Izzy knew what was at stake and she couldn't afford to slip up. She must be perfect.

Her husband was relieved to see her, she supposed she could believe that, but she mustn't convince herself that his actions meant anything more than that. She couldn't allow herself to become too attached, to step over those carefully placed boundaries. She had to do everything right this time.