The Marauders: Year Seven Part One

EEEEEE OWEEE EYYCHHHH EEEEEEE

If Remus Lupin had thought that he had seen everything there was to see as far as surprises from Newt Scamander went, he was sadly mistaken. Newt, it turned out, wasn't just an adventurous old man with with a big heart, overbite, and a stutter. Newt, it turned out, was an absolute nutter. 

"What's he doing?" Sirius asked.

"He's mad, obviously," James said.

"I think he's stuffing his head in the lake," Peter observed.

"He's going to drown," Lily worried.

"The fuck is he doing?" Sirius asked - again.

"He's -- he's talking Mermish!" Remus exclaimed.

All of this was well earned. For Newt Scamander, leading the rest of the way down the path to the lake's edge, had suddenly paused a couple steps away from the water, shed his blue coat and laid it neatly over his briefcase. Promptly following, he walked determinedly up to the edge of the water, knelt down, and, just as Peter had said, shoved his head beneath the water... and proceeded to scream.

Indeed, he was speaking Mermish.

"EEEEEE OWWWWWEEEEE EYYYCHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe OUUUUUIIIIIIIIIII WWEEEERRRRRHHHHHH!" 

Lily said, "Gods alive, that's awful."

James said, "I'd stab myself in the ears and go deaf if I were a mermaid."

"If you were a mermaid you'd be a woman," Sirius pointed out.

"Merman then," James ammended.

"Merperson," corrected Lily.

"Merperson," James said.

Lily nodded in approval.

Peter clapped his hands, "I've never seen anyone speak mermish before, this is positively wonderful!"

"I saw Dumbledore do it," Sirius said, "Me and James did. After we blocked up the toilets and he made us go after them. Remember that?" he nudged James Potter in the side.

James nodded, staring at the backside of his childhood hero, as Newt continued on with his screaming under the water.

"Reckon there's anyone answering him?" Peter asked.

"He wouldn't just stay there shouting into the water if there wasn't," Remus argued.

"Wouldn't he, though?" Sirius said, raising his eyebrow. "Newt's pretty... How do I say this kindly? Insane?"

"How is he breathing?" Lily looked about at the other four.

Peter clapped his hands to his cheeks, "Oh no, he really is going to drown!"

"Peter, don't be an idiot, he woud've pulled his head back out by now if he was going to drown," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

James said, "Maybe he's using the bubblehead charm or something."

They all waited and after what felt like an excruciatingly long amount of time - indeed, many of the other students had arrived for the class and started discussing what was happening on the shore of the lake by now - Newt finally pulled his head out of the water. His graying auburn hair hung in a wet knot of curls over his forehead and water dripped from his nose and his over-large teeth. The white button-up shirt and gold vest were both soaked, especially after he shook off like a dog, sending water droplets every which way from his hair.

He looked over all the students that had joined them and he smiled, "H-hullo," he said.

Whispers went up amongst some of the students that weren't used to him yet that it was Newt Scamander, and they all expressed their shock and awe. Marlene Mackinnon stepped up next to Lily Evans and James distinctly heard her whisper, "He's like royalty alright? I'm utterly starstruck. Aren't you just starstruck?"