The Marauders: Year Seven Part One

Four Minutes, Forty-Nine Seconds

Sirius Black pulled his pocket watch from the small pocket of his vest, popping it open to check the time. "Last record, achieved in fourth year and never beaten, was four minutes and forty-seven seconds. Potter did it." Sirius looked up, licked his finger and held it up.

Remus raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to do?"   

"Checking the direction the air is blowing, like in that pirate film we watched that time out in the Shack," Sirius answered.

Remus blinked. "Alright, first off, we're inside."

"So?"

"There is no wind inside," Remus said, in disbelief that he had to spell such a thing out. "Secondly, what on earth does the direction of the wind have to do with how fast a mattress will slide down the stairs?"

"Its science, Moonpie."

"You're completely mad," Remus said.

"As long as its completely," Sirius grinned. "Can't blame me for only doing something halfway, huh?"

"I s'pose," Remus mumbled.

Sirius angled the ratty old mattress a bit and stepped down to the third step, standing before it and wiggling his arse before setting down, using his thick boots as brakes. He leaned back. "You ready to set a new record for fastest trip to the Entrance Hall?"

"No," Remus answered. "You're mental! This is bullocks! We're literal, actual adults."

"Oh let loose a little, Moony," Sirius said accusingly, "You're going to have to at University, you know, if you wish to be cool, that is."

"No more than I do here," Remus said.

"Well Moonshine," Sirius said, and he flung his arm about Remus's shoulder, drawing him near, "Here you're actually cool by association, see. James and I are cool as fuck, and you're our mate, so by association, so are you darling. But at University... well. James and I won't be there to give you that sheen of cool. You'll have to let loose and be your Moony self to them and earn it the same as you did with us lot."

Remus eyed Sirius uneasily. "You're full of shite."

"What, do you think people at University are there just for the learning?"

"Yes, actually."

"Wrong!" Sirius announced, "They go to University for things like drinks and hot witches."

"What do you know about hot witches?" Remus demanded.

Sirius dusted off his shoulder. "I was straight once."

Remus snorted - loudly. "You were straight and I'm the Minister for Magic!"

"I WAS!" Sirius persisted.

 "You were in denial more like."

Sirius shrugged.

Remus stared at the mattress, then peered over the railing, down, down, down the stairwell, which moved and coiled and spun about, the staircases shifting in their magical way. He glanced at Sirius, "What if the staircase shifts? What then, we just die or something? Have you thought about that at all?"

"Are you a wizard or not? Bloody hell, then we fly, Remus!"

"How do you mean --"

"Stop over analyzing everything and just get on board!"

Remus stared at Sirius for a long moment, then, muttering to himself, scrambled onto the mattress behind Sirius. "If we crash and die doing this rubbish, I will bloody kill you."