Warning: this was sad to write reader discretion is advised. Also kind of smutty. Don't read this at your next family reunion.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Is the only sound I hear. It's raining outside. I watch the cars and the sky it's all so pretty. I gently caress the artificial black rose that I keep in a vase on this very windowsill. I remember who gave it to me, and I long to see him. You see he was going on a plane for a role in a movie. Before he took of I texted him three words. Just three. That could change our friendship forever. 'i love you' it's true. I do love him. More than life itself. I'm not good enough for him, but I still love him. He hadn't texted me back at all and I know he read it. He's been posting and talking to other friends, but he can't reject me over text? Damn. That's harsh. I pace around the room over and over again. Eventually I can't take it and put out Boris' food get on my coat and leave. I walk the streets alone and watch middle aged men and street workers silently hit on me. Disgusting. If Cory were here he'd tell them to 'fuck off' I know he would. He's protective like that. Oh boy do I have it bad. If I had known he would ghost me I would've told him while he was in the country so I could drive to hear my rejection. Honestly I'm more hurt than anything. My body is willing me to try and text him again. I want to I really do, but how can I? I can only wait another week or so. He's been gone for three months. He never told me when to expect him back so I'll have to stalk his socials. The story behind the black rose to pass some of the time: I was feeling sorry when Chuck dumped me for a blonde bitch. Sorry that I ever liked him, and sorry for myself. Cory came over with that rose saying sheepishly that he'd bought it at a local craft store and thought I'd like it. I got out a small vase and put the rose in it. I spent half an hour trying to figure out where to put it. I put it next to Boris on the windowsill and took a picture. Everyone loved it so it's been there ever since.
One month later.
Knock. Knock. The knocks get slightly louder and louder as I get closer to the door. And no not because I'm getting closer its because they are impatient. I open the door to see him. "Cory?" I ask confused. I step aside and he enters my apartment. He looks at Boris sitting on the counter then at the dead roses on my table that are dead because I was too sad to change the water. I had kept those things alive since he had left. He turns around and looks at me. "Cory i-" I start only to be cut off by him saying "shut up." He mumbled pacing the kitchen like I had everyday for a month. I was slightly taken aback by his words putting the palms of my hands on the island I hoisted myself up on the island. He continued to mumble in my direction. "Cory, speak the fuck up." I said frustrated. He looked at me, and for the first time I saw it. In his eyes is regret, and guilt. I know he did something he's not proud of. And he sits down right in the middle of the kitchen. I sigh and get down feeling more in love with this boy. I sit criss cross in front of him tapping his shoulder. I hear him sniffle and he wipes his tears looking at me. "I'm such an asshole" he said more fresh tears already falling. "What-what do you mean?" I asked frowning. "You know exactly what I mean!" He said- well more yelled getting up and pacing the room again. I got up and sat back on the island now next to Boris. "Let me ask you; do you still love me now?! After I've ignored you for months!" He said walking closer. "Remember when we were four, and I liked you?" I asked recalling the memory I'd been reminded of countless times by Cory's mom. "Yeah." He said. "I'd told that I'd wait a long as it takes. I meant it. When was the last time I had a boyfriend/girlfriend?" I recalled that I had held out my pinky as a promise, and I'd kept that promise for sixteen years. "Yeah, but you've had your first kiss." He responded obviously not remembering the things that I do. It seems it all meant nothing to him. "And do you remember who it was?" I queered. "N-no..." He said ashamed. "It was you, you dumbass. My first kiss was you. We made a pact when we were eight that if we hadn't had our first kiss before we were fourteen we'd lose it to each other. Sitting on your roof under the stars you kissed me. I can see why now. You didn't remember what I said when I was four." I rambled on and on. "Oh... I'm sorry. I should remember that. There's alot of things I should remember." He said feeling guilt rush through him. Neither realized how close they were to the other until she/he/they could feel Cory's breath on their cheek. I turned away from him as he set a hand on my left thigh. His other hand went to the cold counter near me. "You still waiting on me, darling?" He whispered softly in my ear sending shivers down my spine. I finally looked at him saying a breathy, "yes" watching his eyes get more and more ashamed. "I-i kissed another girl while I was away to ease the pain, but she means nothing compared to you, Y/n" he said still ashamed. "Hey, hey look at me." I said gently putting my hand over his on my thigh. Tracing circles into his hand I stared at him. He eventually gave in looking at me. "I don't care whoever the hell you kissed while you were away. Got that? You aren't mine, and I'm not yours. What really matters is that you're here now. You are with me now." I said softer. "I don't deserve you, and you don't deserve a fuck up like me." He mumbled. "I don't deserve you at all. If anything I'm the fuck up. I mean look at me with three jobs working 72 hours a week barely supporting myself. You're to good for me Grüter." I said kind of harshly. "No I'm not you deserv-" he started only to be cut off by me. "Shut up." I mumbled kissing him softly. His other hand traveling up from my hip to my cheek. He kissed back harshly as if this is something that he has wanted as long as I have. Maybe he had wanted this as much as I have. His other hand remained on my thigh. He mumbled something to me in between passionate kisses. He eventually put his hands on my ass mumbling "jump" and I did as told. He led us into my room and set me on my bed. His hands continued to roam my body as he pushes me down now on top of me.
His kisses start traveling down my neck surely leaving marks. He runs a hand through my soft hair still leaving hickies all down my throat and collar bone. His lips re attach to mine I feel better than I ever have before. When we finally break the kiss panting I lay down next to him. He sits up running his hands through his hair roughly. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?" He asks looking at me. "Do you know how long I've wanted you to be mine?" I asked. "Fair" he said laying back down next to me intertwining our fingers.
