By Chance - Zack X Reader

Godly Macaroni

"Hello? How can I help you sir?" I asked.

The man was tall, muscular, and had bandages wrapped around his face.

"I'll give you three seconds to run." He grinned.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

He shoved a scythe that he had hidden behind his back up to my neck.

"Start running, bitch. Or I'll cut your fucking throat." He snarled.

Oh hell no, I haven't gotten to eat my macaroni and cheese.

"Quick question, do you mind if I finish my food first? I've been craving macaroni and cheese for awhile now so I just really want to eat my pasta." I pushed his blade back a bit so I could talk.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He deadpanned.

"What?! Says the dude that shoved a scythe to my neck on my own property!" I argued.

"Why the fuck aren't you scared?!" He asked.

"Because my pasta is still waiting for me!" I yelled.

Suddenly my neighbors light turned on and they opened their window.

Not a great time, George.

"Will you two stop yelling?! Some of us are trying to sleep!" George yelled, angry.

"Shut the fuck up old man! I'm workin' over here!" The scythe guy yelled back.

"(Y/N) when did you get such an angry boyfriend?! I thought you were dating that Tyler fellow!" Julia, Georges wife came up next to him.

"WILL YOU BOTH MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS?! GO AWAY!" The scythe man was now very angry.

They both gave an annoyed look and closed their window.

"Damn I'll have to visit them once I'm done here." The scythe man looked at their window.

"So I'm gonna go get my pasta, you can wait here or you can come in I don't really care." I walked back into my kitchen.

Of course, with my luck, scythe man followed.

"Will you just fucking run so I can kill you?! This is taking forever!" He complained.

I sat on my counter and grabbed some macaroni and cheese on my fork, then shoved it in my mouth.

Scythe man leaned on the counter across from me.

I shoved another bite of pasta into my mouth and looked at him.

"So? Want some?" I grabbed another fork from my drawer and handed it to him.

He sighed, taking it and grabbing a bite.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Yeah, nothing special." He said.

This bitch. My macaroni is fucking delicious, don't offend me like that.

I gasped and looked at him, thoroughly offended.

"What?" He gave me a weird look.

I snatched my bowl away from him and jumped off the counter.

"Hey! I wasn't done with that!" He yelled.

"I don't care! Don't offend my godly macaroni like that again!" I huffed and walked to my living room.

"Will you stop messing around and start running so I can fucking slice your pretty little neck open?!" He yelled, annoyed.

"My 'pretty little neck'?" I raised an eyebrow and shoved another bite in my mouth.

"Shut the fuck up, dumb bitch." He said.

I took the last bite of my macaroni and put the bowl in the sink.

Scythe man followed me as I walked up to my bedroom and crossed my arms, looking at him.

"Okay, you're done with your dumbass food, now start crying and running." He said.

"Look, dude. I have two things I need to do before I die, alright? One, I need to rewatch the entire series of The Office, and two, I'm still a virgin, I refuse to die a virgin." I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Well you're going to get neither of those. Now start crying and begging for your life." He grinned.

"Do you get a hard on from killing people?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?!" He yelled.

"Nothing, just wondering. Anyway..." I stretched my arms and walked over to my bedside table.

I pulled open the drawer and took the heavy, metal object out.

"What the hell are you doing with that? You won't kill me with those tiny bullets." He laughed.

"I don't need to kill you, though." I checked the magazine, it was full.

I brushed past him, bumping his shoulder as I did.

He followed me as I walked out of my house and down the street.

"Where are you going?" He asked, catching up to me and walking next to me.

"I have someone to see." I replied

"Holy shit! You're gonna shoot em'?!" He replied excitedly.

"Yeah, right in her dumb ass face." I turned a corner and walked up to the house I needed.

I knocked on her door, a few minutes later, she answered.

"Ohh~ the loser has come to say hi! Still mad about that thing we did-" I cut her off by raising the gun to her face.

"W-What are you doing with that?" Her voice got shaky.

"I'm gonna blow your fucking brains out, fake ass whore!" I pulled the trigger and smiled as I watched the life drain out of her eyes.

I spit on her body and walked off, scythe man in tow.

"I'll admit it, that was pretty badass." He said.

"Felt good too." I said.

"You can kill me now, just so you know. I won't fight back either. And I'll even scream and cry and beg for my life like you asked." I looked at him.

"As tempting as that sounds, I need a place to hide out and your house is secluded enough for me." He crossed his arms.

"So instead of killing me, I have to live with you?" I asked.

"Yeah." He replied.

I grabbed his scythe and put it to my neck.

"Just kill me." I said.

"You're fucking insane, you know that?!" He moved his scythe away as I burst out laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I'm (Y/N)
(L/N)." I said.

"Zack." He replied.

"Zack..?" I questioned.

"Just Zack." He didn't look at me.

"So, Zack, you'll have to sleep on the couch." I said.

"What?! No way! I saw the extra room!" He argued.

"Ughhh fine. I guess you can use the spare bedroom." I groaned.

He's not that bad, once he's not constantly bugging you about killing you.