Soren

Chapter Eighteen

That night was spent in shocked silence as Soren tried to come to terms with her approaching demise.

Matt and James spent it trying to come up with ideas or plans to stop it from ever happening or to make sure she would win if it did. She knew the truth though, she knew that soon she'd be gone from this world and up with the stars.

Had it been this time the year previous, Soren would've been able to come to terms with that quickly. Being up in the stars looking down upon the world that had treated her so cruelly at points and so kindly at others, had seemed like a peaceful concept. Now, however, James had changed everything. She couldn't imagine looking down upon him every day, having him so close and yet so far out of reach, it would be like her own personal circle of hell. And while she knew she'd want him to find happiness without her, she did not know if she could bear to watch him fall in love, have children, become a family.

With James in her life, she had become selfish and greedy, she wasn't prepared to give him up.

Matt and James halted their hushed conversation as Soren stood up. She left the living room in a daze and went up to James' room where her make-shift bed still lay in the corner. She laid down and rested her head against the wall. She could hear the front door open and close as footsteps began to make their way up the stairs towards her.

"Hey."

James was stood in the doorway, hands shoved deep in his pockets, shoulders tense and face uneasy. He approached slowly so as not to startle her like he had before. He placed himself next to her on the blankets, letting their shoulders touch as he followed her gaze out and up to the sky. He didn't move to touch her any more than the gentle brush of his arm, until she leaned into his side, letting him support her weight. With her display of acceptance of his closeness, he risked the amiable atmosphere, reaching his arm over and around her shoulders, pulling her even closer into his side.

"James?" Her voice was soft like honey, but held tremors of uncertainty, "Am I going to die?"

A deep rumble rose from deep within James' chest. Her upper body feeling the vibrations from her head to her toes of the feral growl that her gentle mate had made.

"Don't ever say that again, you're going to be just fine."

"It's just that you guys both looked so worried, and I want to be able to prepare myself for when the time comes, you know?"

"You don't need to worry about a thing. Matt's going over to talk to her right now, he's going to sort it out."

"Are you sure?" Hope filled her chest and she leaned her head on James' shoulder.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll never let you be in harm's way. You're mine and I'm yours, our story isn't over yet."

She didn't bother responding to the sweet words. She wasn't like James, she wasn't good at getting her feelings across. She didn't have the vocabulary of someone as educated as him, she just prayed that he knew, that like how she seemed to be in tune with his feelings, that he too, could tell how she felt.

She fell asleep in his arms that night, letting the moonlight wash over her and lull her to sleep. She found comfort in his hold, sleeping blissfully and dreamlessly as he drove the nightmares away.

When she woke, she could feel his absence without having to open her eyes. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she trudged to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and her hair, she went through the routine that Margot had shown her. Pulling on another one of James' oversized hoodies, the black fabric falling to the middle of her thigh. Leggings and chunky knit socks completed the look, allowing her to descend the stairs silent and stealthy.