harrison reid // maxi // bondi rescue

43 bottled up feelings

as parker is huddled into maxi i smile to myself seeing how comfortable parker is. it's nice to see him comfortable with someone else who isn't me or harrison in case we ever need a break or something. i haven't had a lot of time to myself today. it's been busy and frustrating with jobs around the house and with guys all going crazy in the tower - it's kinda doing my head in and giving me a headache. quietly i ask hoppo if i can grab some panadol and he takes me around the corner and gives me some. while everyone is either huddling around parker or watching the beach, i pop down to the tunnel to grab some water and have a quick breather for a moment, away from everyone.

i end up spending about ten minutes down there just thinking and trying to get this headache away. i pop into the bathroom where i go toilet then sit in the benches and just think for a bit by my self. thinking about today and how shit my day is i just want to cry. i haven't cried in so long and all this stress and frustration this week has built up inside me and i need to let it out.

i don't know how long i spend down there but it's long enough until i hear harrisons voice calling my name down the tunnel. "elyse? you down here?" i hear him say, getting closer. "el you in here?" he asks and i whimper out a yes. "el, can i come in" he asks and before i can even reply he pokes his head around the corner. seeing that there's not anyone else in here he rushes in and sits beside me, holding me in his arms. "el baby, what's wrong" he asks, hugging me close to him. "nothing" i tell him, not wanting to tell him about today otherwise it'll trigger more tears. "shhhh what wrong. tell me love" he says, pulling his head away from mine to look at me. "it's nothing, just everything built up and i couldn't take it any longer" i say and i hold in all my tears. "el baby, don't let anything build up inside you. talk it out, talk to me. that's what i'm here for. i don't want to see you like this" he says and stands me up, giving me one of his famous warm cuddles. "you are the strongest person i know. you've gone through so much in your life and now that you have a family of your own there's going to be more issues you're going to face okay darling? as much as i want to see you be strong, it's okay to break down and feel weak. that's normal. i don't want you to bottle everything up again. just talk to me love. okay?" he says and i nod. he wipes my tears away with his thumb and kisses me on the forehead which makes me smile. "come on, when you're ready we'll head back up" he says. i quickly wash my face with water from the shower and dry it off with the bottom of my shirt. walking back to the tower together, we see deano holding parker now with him completely asleep in his arms. he's gently walking around with him and rubbing his back which is parker's favourite. it puts him to sleep in a blink.

deans happy holding parker so i decide to finally have some lunch, at 4pm. harrison notices it's my lunch and he questions me why i haven't eaten earlier but i tell him i'll explain later. although harrison was meant to get off at 6, hoppo tells him he can leave, seeing as they're not too busy and i have a headache and harrison can be there for me at home. after saying goodbye to who's left in the tower, we head off back home.

well everyone seems to like him which is good!