Way Down I'll Go

For Loving and For Saying So

"So is this the part where you take me out into the woods and murder me?"

Jo sent the closest thing to a glare he could muster in Rachel's direction. She held up her hands in surrender.

"You're just being very mysterious. Well, more than usual."

Jo took Rachel's hand and helped her over a rather large tree trunk blocking their path. She'd been surprised to find him leaning against her car after work. She'd been even more surprised when he'd told her to drive but didn't tell her where they were going. And though she'd definitely seemed a bit surprised when the surroundings became more and more dilapidated the further they went, she looked at him with nothing but trust. It made his stomach clench all the more.

"It is very peaceful out here. It'd be a pleasant place to die..."

He shook his head, having learned by now that she was a horrible tease.

"Oh, come on Jo, what's it going to take?! I'm dying of curiosity!"

"Impatient is more like it," he muttered.

Her eyes widened as she opened her mouth in a shocked smile.

"Okay, mister. My lips are sealed until you start talking."

"About time," he joked with a straight face, knowing it would get a reaction.

It did. She nudged his shoulder playfully with her own, a giggle bubbling out of her chest.

"Who are you and what did you do with Jo?"

He grinned at her, and then sobered, remembering why he'd brought her here. They walked several more yards before coming to a stop at a tree stump on the edge of a small clearing in the woods. A single line of railroad tracks ran through the clearing into the distance. It was utterly silent except for scattered bird calls and the creaking of trees in the wind.

Just as he remembered it.

"I used to come here. As a kid."

She surveyed the place, letting go of his hand to explore it further. Coming to the tree stump, she ran her hand over the smoothed wood. With a quickly inhaled breath, she looked up at him.

"It's your name!"

He smiled slightly. 

"Yeah. Don't really know why. I guess I'd seen other kids do it."

She traced the letters with the tip of her finger.

"This is the only place I ever felt safe."

She looked up at him and he couldn't meet her eyes, staring instead at the train tracks.

"I found it when I was about Adam's age. My dad had kicked the shit out of me and then locked me out of the house. I wandered all evening until I found this spot." 

He shook his head slightly at the memory. 

"Used to come here before the Drew was born. Whenever he was on a binge or when he brought his friends over or if he locked me out but forgot to chain me. I'd catch hell for it later, but I never really cared. It was just nice to have a place...just mine, you know?"

He chanced a glance at Rachel's face. She hadn't moved an inch. Her eyes were sad, but he could tell she was trying to stay strong for him. Bless her. He took a step toward her and stopped, leaving enough distance to allow her the opportunity to leave if she decided to.

"Rachel, there are things you need to know about me."

He broke eye contact. It became utterly silent in the woods, as if the birds had abandoned their songs to eavesdrop. He studied his boots, noticing how grimy they still were despite how he'd tried to clean them.