Way Down I'll Go

Weight of This Sad World

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Jo winced at Frank's tone, reminding himself to remain calm. He shifted uncomfortably on Rachel's couch, wishing he'd let her have this conversation with Frank instead.

"Cancer?!"

Frank was out of his chair now, pacing the peaceful living room of Jo's new home. He and the boys had moved in only yesterday; Rachel had insisted it would be best for them all. Today, Frank had come to keep an eye on him while Rachel was at work and the boys at school.

"After everything you've been through?! How the fuck is that okay?!"

Jo smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't think there's a statute of limitations for bad things happening to a person..."

He trailed off at Frank's glare.

"Well there fucking should be!" he yelled, and Jo dropped his gaze to his lap, his heart rate spiking.

Frank sighed and flopped miserably into his chair. They were silent for a several minutes.

"I'm sorry, kid."

Jo shook his head.

"No, listen to me."

Jo met his gaze.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. For the whole damn mess. For not getting there fast enough." He choked slightly. "For leaving you with him all those years when I knew what he was doing to you."

There were tears in Frank's voice.

"I knew, Jo. I fucking knew. And I did fuck all to stop it."

Jo frowned.

"Frank, none of this is your fault. You've done nothing but help me since we met. You saved me over and over again and you've never asked for anything in return. It's me who should be apologizing to you. For dragging you into this."

"Don't start that with me kid. You deserve so much more than the shit you've had to take. And now this..."

Frank ran his hands through his hair, a drop of salty liquid peeking from the corner of his eye. Jo leaned forward, holding back a hiss of pain as his ribs moved with him. Firmly meeting Frank's eyes, he smiled.

"You're the only friend I've ever had, Frank. My dad, my childhood, this cancer...I don't have anything to complain about when I have a friend like you. A girlfriend like Rachel. Brothers like the boys. Don't feel bad for me, Frank. I have more than I ever hoped for."

Frank surveyed him, his expression the same, unreadable stare that Jo remembered from the cold night they'd met. He shook his head finally.

"I don't do friends, kid. Friends are liabilities that shoot you in the ass the second you turn your back." 

He cleared his throat. 

"But when I watched you dying, all I could think was that I never told you how much you mean to me."

His voice broke as he finished, and Jo had to look away to keep the emotion at bay.

"Damn," Frank chuckled. "I don't know when I turned into a sappy little bitch." 

He sniffled and wiped a hand across his face. 

"I guess what I'm trying to say, kid, is that I'll be there for you. No matter what."

Jo smiled.

"You already have been."

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