Los Angeles

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(Jo)

I stare down at my phone screen, my eyes narrowed as I read the article announcing Hero's role in The Silencing.

The article had only been released on the day of the Los Angeles premiere, but he's known for some time now which only made me even more upset.

My biggest fear had come to life.

I knew that whatever happened on this tour would stay on the tour. Today was our last day, and tomorrow things would go back to the way they were before.

As if nothing had happened.

But how could they?

So much has happened.

My mindset had changed a lot after Hero announced he would begin filming shortly after the tour ended.

I missed him terribly, and the overwhelming guilt I had about not telling him how I felt only added to that.

Everything made sense now. On top of the pressures of trying to keep a working relationship along with a romantic one, Hero and I led separate lives aside from After. If we were going to be together, we needed to work around that.

We needed to have better communication.

I wish he had told me sooner. I'm sure we would've been able to work it out. It was only two weeks.

We've already been apart for eleven at this point, which was eerily ironic.

Eleven days ago, Hero had asked for time to think about everything.

Within those eleven days, he's done nothing but send mixed signals. From being jealous over Dylan and Shane to that little kissing my hand stunt he pulled in New York.

I was growing more and more tired by the second, even though I understood now why he had done it.

But it only made me wonder what would happen next.

Were we going to work things out?

Were we going to stay apart?

I had no idea.

What I did know, was that if we decided to stay apart, I was going to focus on myself entirely. I wasn't going to lose focus again, and not let my guard down.

I couldn't keep getting hurt.

Today was our last day of the promo tour, and we were wrapping it up with a signing with Anna, Hero, and myself as well as Dylan and Shane.

I could only hope Hero wouldn't do anything reckless, granted that he seemed to have a hard time seeing me talking to any person of the opposite sex.

It amazed me how jealous he becomes when we aren't together, and it made me wonder why he'd push me away only to want to keep me from other guys.

At this point, if things worked out in our favor then so be it.

If not, I was moving on for good.

At the signing

Dylan and Shane meet up with us at the bookstore. We're kept in the break-room while the store staff set up the area that the signing was being held in.

Hero hasn't said much to me since we left the hotel aside from a quick hello.

It could never fail to amaze me how every day seemed to be different for us, one bringing feelings of sadness while another could bring feelings of anger.

At the moment, all I felt was neutrality. As if everything had just stopped.

Perhaps he's made up his mind, or maybe he's given up.

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