upon arrival
my dizzy head spun
nauseous stomach churned
dazed eyes wide.
mist lingered over the mountains
of my thoughts.
their sheer size petrified me
and the thought of starting again
was one of hope and paralyzing fear.
the beginning came and went
permanent people faded to memories.
autumn was my spring
my time of renewal and growth
and warmth.
the days when clouds finally parted
the sun touched not only my skin
but something deeper, too.
days of cigarette smoke and deer cafes
nicotine early morning filled with quiet
glances and silent secrets.
spring has been my winter
the flowers all died
and not for lack of water.
the sun hides and a chill haunts my core.
it is simply in their nature.
it is simply in their nature.
