Pain Will Always Come Back to Haunt You

Spiralling Downwards

It's like being stuck in a nightmare while you're awake. It isn't real and nothing can actually hurt you, but you don't know that at the time. In the moment, everything is so terrifying that you don't even consider the option of it not being real. Peter knows he's not actually being pinned down by a building, but he can feel the weight on his entire body. It feels so real and he can feel everything as if it were happening all over again. He doesn't even have his homemade suit this time. He has nothing. No one. His head pounds as if it's going to explode and he can't help but grip his head. It's the only movement he can manage. Everything just needs to stop...Please just stop. I can't do this anymore. The pain, the weight, it's too much. I can't I can't I can't I can't...

"Peter?" Tony asks when he notices him holding his head, but Peter can't hear him. Everything's too loud and his senses can't handle it. Peter suddenly drops to the floor on his hands knees, breathing fast and erratically. He feels like he's going numb and disappearing beneath the weight. Tony's heart practically leaps out of his chest when he sees the teenager crumple to the floor. He scrambles to keep Peter from falling onto his side. "Easy, easy, just...shit, breathe." Peter subconsciously flinches at his voice, so Tony presses his hand against Peter's ear to block out the excess noise. Tony starts to panic too. How is he supposed to comfort a kid who's freaking out? Peter can't be having an panic attack. It's not possible. He can't...he can't be like him. Tony holds Peter to his chest, hoping that the kid can feel his breathing.

Peter feels as if he's pinned. He can't move, can't breathe, can't do anything. But then he starts to feel warmth. There's another type of pressure...but it's gentle and comforting. He grips it as if his life depends on it and curls in on himself. If he makes himself as small as possible, maybe the pain will disappear when he does. But...he doesn't want to leave the warmth. He doesn't want to be selfish, but he can't be alone again.

"It'll be okay, Pete, but I need you to breathe. God, if you ever listen to me once in your life, do it now. C'mon kid." Mr. Stark? Why does he sound worried? I haven't ever heard him sound anything other than smug and egotistical. It's then that Peter notices the burning in his chest and the shaking of his body from head to toe. His eyes are clamped shut and his ears have something soft pressed against them. Everything sounds muffled, but Tony's voice is as clear as day. I'm safe. I'm here, at the Tower. I'm okay and I'm not going anywhere. Once he doesn't feel the harsh pressure anymore, he's finally able to gasp in a breath. His chest is sore, but the rush of air makes it worth it. "Thank fuck," Tony mutters under his breath. He hadn't realized he had gotten so worked up over Peter's sudden collapse.

Peter begins to feel light movement on his back and quickly realizes that Tony is rubbing comforting circles on it. He doesn't know whether to feel relaxed or mortified that someone like Tony Stark has to deal with him. As his senses become sharper, he figures out that he's sitting on the ground and Tony's doing the same next to him. It takes a few more moments to notice that he's leaning into Tony, instantly making him feel more embarrassed. Tony's sleeve is pressed to his exposed ear while his other ear is pressed into his mentor's chest. After the rush of adrenaline finally leaves his system, the tremors set in.

"You're, you're lucky that Captain America isn't, isn't here. I've heard how much, how much he doesn't like bad language." Peter tries to cover up his shaking with humor, but Tony doesn't laugh. He doesn't even chuckle.

"How are you feeling?" Peter can't handle his concerned tone. It's so unlike Tony to sound concerned. It doesn't feel right. It makes Peter's stomach twist to think that he caused this. He tries to open his eyes to read Tony's face, but as soon as he does, the fluorescent lights above them feel like they sear his eyes. He gasps painfully and slams his eyes shut again.