Trauma

end his suffering

The time Bucky spend at the therapist's place was surprisingly clam and relaxed. The woman didn't force him to say anything but the way she talked, asked and interrupted, gently nudging him in the right direction, made it easy to just talk. And she asked question Bucky had never expected to answer yet here he was, giving her a brief summary of who he was. Then of who he thought himself to be. Then of why he thought that others would think the way of him he expected them to and why he thought of himself the way he did. Bucky learnt about some hidden truths that day and this made it easier for him to conquer his fears and struggles.

When Bucky got up to leave he felt strangely exhausted. The woman had been right, it was him working on his problems and not her. She just helped him uncover them. Aside from feeling exhausted he also felt content. He was happy, relieved in a way. Finally, there was light at the end of the tunnel, a sunray visible at the horizon, a surface to the darkest, deepest sea.

Steve was waiting for him in the car, with Trauma on the backseat. He anxiously stared at his boyfriend, afraid of what Bucky might say or do. Scared, that, just maybe, he had forced his boyfriend into something bad, wrong. But Bucky grinned at him as he got into the car and stayed silent. There was nothing to say. If Steve wanted to know things then he'd have to ask.

"Uhm... and... how was it?" , he inquired, obviously afraid of the answer. And Bucky decided to torture his boyfriend a little. So he kept silent and tilted his head as if in deep thought.

"Well..."

Silence.

"Uhm..."

More painful, tense silence. Bucky had to suppress a laugh. Steve looked so tense, his gaze fixed upon the street, the knuckles on his hands white because he pressed them against the steering while. Time to release him.

"It was suprisingly nice. I actually enjoyed it, Steve. It was easier than I thought it to be but exhausting" , explained Bucky. Steve relaxed visibly and glanced at his boyfriend who was smiling a happy, tired smile.

"So... You'll go there again?" , Steve asked, raising an eyebrow. Bucky grinned.

"Yeah, I guess I will" , said Bucky. Steve smiled too.

They kept silent for the rest of the trip. As they arrived at home Trauma took his chance to properly greet Bucky by jumping up on him and licking every part of him that he could reach. And Steve, too, had a surprise for his boyfriend.

"I made your favourite meal, you know, as a reward for finally seeing a therapist"

It became a beautiful rest of the day. The threatening clouds had turned into rain and the three inhabitants of the Stucky household spend the rest of the day watching movies, eating popcorn and a pig's ear. One part of the party stuck to the pig's ear, the other to the popcorn, they didn't mix it. Bucky may or may not have fallen asleep, pressed against Steve's chest, one hand buried in Trauma's fur, missing out on nearly two whole movies.

They took a long, relaxinf walk when it was dark. The rain had tuned into a foggy, cold wetness, autumn like weather, but if they keptmoving they could stand it. Trauma didn't seem too happy with the cold either and Steve and Bucky decided to get him a dog jacket or something to keep him warm in nights and days to come. At least as long as his fur was still that patchy. They'd been to the vet too, who'd taken a short look at Trauma's paws, told Steve and Bucky not to worry and send them away again.

The two days that followed were normal, dog filled, happy days. They enjoyed every second they had with Trauma and the dog enjoyed every second he had with the two men. They went to visit the lake again, even though it wasn't really warm outside. They went to the pet store again and got a raincoat for Trauma which he seemed to like, probably because it kept him warm. They also tried to walk Trauma in the mornings now, because they weren't too keen on icy winter night walks. The dig did well. Very well.