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Kentrell Desean Gaulden
'I'm losin' myself dawg, I can feel it'
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I reached in the drawer and grabbed my notebook that I wrote my songs in. I'm going to the studio today to record them. 

I sat down on the bed going over them as I nodded my head. I got up and grabbed my bag with my pills in it, I pulled four of them out along with my blunts

I reached over and grabbed my minimaid and tossed the pills in it before closing it and shaking it up

I let it dissolve for a while as I smoked my blunt. After a while I drunk some and sat it back down on the night stand

I was just deep in my thoughts thinking bout life til I heard a knock on the door

"HOUSEKEEPING" the lady yelled, I got up stumbling as I made my way to the door and opened it "is there anything I could replace for you?"

I was just staring her with a blank face

"Excuse me" she said waving her hand in my face

"Huh?"

"Is there anything I can replace for you, towels or?"

"No" I slammed the door in her face and made my way back to the bed before I heard another knock at the door "this stupid bitch" I mumbled

I opened the door "bitch I told yo —" I stopped once I noticed it was Poota "mane Poota what the fuck"

"I'm tryna figure out who you think you talking to" she said coming in and shutting the door behind her "Kentrell it smell like straight up weed in here"

"So, that's what I like" I said standing there laughing while she just looked at me

"Shit not funny, and what you been in here doing?" she asked looking around and walking over to the bag with the pills in it

"Drugging myself" she picked the pills up all shocked

"Kentrell really, for real?" She looked back and forth between me and the pills "the weed cool, but you taking pills. You gone kill yo' self"

"Im still here annit'?"

"Yeah for now"

"I gotta do them pills, smoke my weed, sip on my lean, and drug myself with whole bunch of other shit"

"When you started doing that?" She asked looking confused, I laughed

"Forever"

"Kent— " I cut her off

Why she do this, why she be so worried?

"Ashiah I know what im doing, so stop being all worried. I gotta do it cause how else ima numb this pain?"

She ain't say nothing

"Look, I'm losin' myself dawg, I can feel it. Doing them drugs help numb what I feel. Ion feel shit when I'm smoking my blunt, I don't feel nothing. I'm good"

"Aight Kentrell, I came here cause you act like you can't answer the phone"

"My phone dead" I said picking it up and handing it to her. She tried to power it on before throwing it on the bed

"Aight, I gotta go" she said while looking at me

"Whea' you going?"

That's my favorite question to ask her, I gotta make sure she ain't leaving me

"My grandma having a cookout and she want the whole family there. My momma outside waiting on me"

"Aight" I said as she started walking towards the door and I followed behind her

"Charge yo' phone so I can at least make sure yo' black ass alive" I nodded as she opened the door getting ready to go out but I grabbed her hand

"I love you, for real" I said looking at her

"I love you too, Kentrell"

She left and I laid down and went to sleep for a couple of hours before I heard loud ass knocks on the door.

I got up and opened the door to see it was Ben and Three

"Say, how y'all niggas get here?" I asked as they shut the door behind them

"We borrowed my momma car" Ben said and I looked at him knowing he was lying

"You took her shit while she was sleep bitch ass nigga. You know she ain't let you borrow shit" I said and we all started laughing

"On god that nigga lying, but we came to get you up outta here. We going to a party, so let's go. The rest of the gang already there"

"Aight let me slip on something" I got some clothes and changed before we left making it there

"Say, I'm tryna eat some ass tonight" Ben said pointing at a group of girls that was twerking on each other

"Niggs you can't even pull for a one nightstand" Three said causing me to laugh

"Y'all niggas trippin', for real" I said "let's go take some shots" I said pointing to the bar

We walked over to the bar and took a couple before finding a booth to sit at

"Y'all know I had to bring my shit" three said pulling his backwoods and shit out

"Twins" Ben said cheesing all hard as he pulled his blunt out and I started laughing

"What's wrong with you?" I pulled mine out "we need a lighter"

"Here" three said sliding the lighter over to me before I lit the blunt up

I'm already still fucked up from them pills I took earlier and I just took 6 shots back to back

It's go time!

I finished smoking my blunt before laughing outta nowhere. Three and Ben looked at me and started laughing too

What we laughing fa'?

"Ima be back" I said getting up smiling and falling a little

I walked over to some girl who was twerking and stood behind her dancing on her and she stopped

"What you stop fa' guh, you better throw that back" she looked at me as if I was stupid

"I got a nigga"

"ion see him with you" I told her and she started walking off and I followed her over to a table

"Bae this nigga touching me" she said and he looked at me

"You a bitch" I told her, he got up and pushed me. I pushed his ass back and we started fighting

"STOP" the girl said tryna break the fight up. I looked at her and punched her in her face

"Stupid bitch" I said backing up into somebody, I turned around and it was two polices

Fuck

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