Hot Shower Thoughts

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When can I finally forget you? Another year has passed. Another new lover has passed. But my feelings for you are still the same.

I hurt when you mention her name. My heart faints at the sight of you, praising her. I fall into this dark void of thoughts, screaming at the images of you with her.

Why you? I've just been left by another love of mine, yet it is still you that I think of. It is still you that I mourn for. It is still you that I long for.

Why?

Does this mean that maybe you're the one? That silly thought, that spark of hope, has never given me anything else but disappointment.

Because, you are never, and you never will be the one for me.

Yes, I do admit that I think of you, all the time. But, maybe it's just my heart, fooling around with me. I don't really love you. I don't actually do.

I'm just not ready to give up our past. That's it, just our past. We don't have any future together, not you and me. We are inevitable, but also impossible.

So, I think it's time that I make peace with myself. With you. With us.

We shared a wonderful memory, you and I. But, that's all in the past, all in another time. Now, you're already chasing your future, and I should be too.

I don't want to forget you, but I do want to forget this feeling. This feeling of loss, regret, and pain. I will never be yours, and you will never be mine. For that, I should be thankful.

You will never be the man that I dream of, the man that will tell me how beautiful I am everyday, the man that will love every single part of me, and whose dream is to make me happy. You will never be the one. You will never be the one who will listen to my stories, my dreams, and my fears. You will never be that person to me.

We are not meant to be. And I should be thankful that we are not. You are meant for someone else. Someone that has a different vision of what a man should be. That someone is definitely not me.

I will not lower my standards nor risk my happiness for your false hopes again. I deserve to be happy, and so do you.

I don't care if you will grow to love her, even if it was because of her looks. I will also grow to love another man, a true man. We will both be happy, in our separate ways.

I will make peace with myself. I will make peace with the fact that you will be happy with her, and that you and I will never be. I will make peace with my feelings, and forget them.

I will stop loving you, I know I will.

I don't love you.

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