CONNIE POV
The water runs freezing cold over my fingers, i turn the tap all the way to the hot side as hard as i can. I pray it will burn me. The water runs red hot and splashes off my hand onto the counter. Yet still I feel nothing. I just want to feel something, is that too much to ask.
CARL POV
She's standing over the kitchen sink playing with the taps. I never thought she'd be such a child inside. I walk over slowly and notice this is no playing. Her eyes are glassed over and I can see the water running over her hands is boiling hot, the steam is creating a fog and she is not even bothered.
"What the fuck are you doing "
She says nothing. Looking up at me slyly with a that signature smirk taking over her face. oh connie. Although she flashes me that look i can still see the sadness in her eyes.
I soften my voice. "here" i take her red hot hand out of the water and turn the tap to cold. Her delicate fingers in my hand as i place them under it. The moment seems to last an eternity.
Surprisingly it takes her at least a minute to flinch and snatch her hand away from mine instinctively.
"no" her voice is muted and the words barely registered with me.
I say nothing back and look down at her again.
The smirk is gone. She looks genuine, the first time i've seen that look on her face. In the light of the house she looks young, pushing 16 if that, and so god damn pretty.
It's easy to forget she's poisonous in this moment. Easy to forget she's negans blood.
Her eyes meet mine.
Big and unassuming.
Innocent.
Kind.
Hurt.
I suddenly feel hot and awkward.I need to break this moment. It's wrong.
"Be more careful" i say with a slight laugh.
She whips her head away and walks out.
CONNIE POV
I feel the tears burning my face as i walk out of the kitchen. Quickly wiping them with my sleeve to push this feeling away. But hell I got what I wanted , to feel. But at the hands of Carl Grimes, the boy with the cowboy hat and his way of seeing me. Really seeing me. It's unnerving and i do not like it.
But you can't run from it I suppose.
Fuck it.
I hear his footsteps following me before i have the chance to turn back around.
There he is in the doorway and before he can get a word in i butt in
"i'm sorry"
the silence is deafening and i can see the shock on his face. And i mean it, for the first time in a long long time , i really fucking mean it. I'm not sure when i gained a moral compass - or if i even have. but all i know is when i looked at him with his hand in mine i felt it. I felt sorry. for everything , not just for my dad and what he's done but for this world i've grown up , and knowing he's grown up in it as well.
Knowing that we should have been kids meeting at a party or at school. Not like this. I'm sorry for the little boy who's loved and lost and for the pain i can see in his face.
He looks back at me inquisitively , i think he's trying to work out if im genuine. I guess the tears in my eyes show i am and his face changes.
He nods. I know he understands.
I pull myself together and walk past him, inches from the door i hear his voice.
I don't look back. Just pause with my hand on the front door.
"i'm sorry connie".
