Reversed

xxxv. thirty-five

"Rise and shine, kiddo."

Sophie's eyes flew open, startled by the sound of a familiar voice she wasn't supposed to hear. But then she remembered that everything was okay. She was supposed to hear him. Elwin.

Sunlight poured in through the windows, making Elwin's grin even warmer when her eyes finally adjusted.

Sophie squeezed her eyes shut, expecting for the heat and the aching and the pain to come back any minute. But. . . it never happened.

"You fixed it?" she asked Elwin, her voice hoarse from sleep.

He nodded and gave her a Bottle of Youth to drink. "There's still some things we have to do before you're back to full health."

Sophie nodded, downing the bottle. There had been a few bottles of Youth at the Neverseen hideout, but they'd been scarce, so she hadn't had them regularly. And the food served there was a far cry from the sweet, filling liquid Sophie was drinking right now.

She set the bottle aside when she was finished gulping it down. Something hit her then, urgent and with more mixed feelings than she cared to unravel. "Did you tell anyone I was here?" she asked Elwin.

Elwin looked off to the side. "No. I was thinking I'd wait until you were cured from the limbium before getting Magnate Leto."

Sophie let out a sigh of relief. But her relief quickly faded when she realized that she was cured now. Which meant. . . she'd be seeing Magnate Leto again very soon.

Elwin saw her nervousness in her eyes, and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's okay."

Sophie shivered. "No. You don't get it. I. . . I still hate him."

Elwin cocked his head. "What do you mean?"

Sophie looked him right in the eyes. "I still hate him. Like I did before."

"I thought you remembered everything. You know that he didn't do anything."

Sophie grimaced, forcing the words out against the will of something inside her. "I. . . know. But my emotions aren't gone. I hate everyone." She gritted her teeth.

"What about me?" Elwin asked an honest question. "You could never hate me, right?"

Sophie gave a small smile and nodded. She was still thinking about having to see Magnate Leto.

Elwin decided they had done enough stalling, and said, "I'm going to go get Magnate Leto. I'll be right back." He must have seen the panic in her eyes, because he gave her a sympathetic look and gripped her shoulder. "You'll be okay."

When he left the room, Sophie let out a breath. She looked at the windows. If she climbed up on the shelf beside her cot, she could. . .

Why was she even thinking about escaping? She was safe here. And she needed to talk to Magnate Leto, even if it was just to tell him that she knew he didn't do anything. She had to stomach her hate.

Why did she still hate everyone so much?

The limbium was supposed to have cured it all, but now she had two conflicting realities inside of her. She hated herself for hating people who had done nothing wrong. It was quite exhausting.

Crisp footsteps cut into her thoughts and brought her back to the present. She heard them stop outside the door and pause. She held her breath and counted the seconds that passed.

Only eleven passed, but it felt longer than twice her life. Her lungs burned.

She blinked when Magnate Leto ducked his head in through the Healing Center door. He looked hesitant, his hair mussed as if he'd been running his hands through it recently.