A Place For Me

.14 Cold

Ch.14

The slow rocking of the carriage was slowly making me more nervous. The further we traveled the colder it seemed to get. While Anna and Ryker sat up more in their seats to watched the green trees turn into bright orange and red I pressed back more into my seat. It was clear to me that the world is bigger than my small minded self could handle. Never having been to school, I never knew leaves could change color. They always stayed the same back home. 

I built my courage enough to peek out my own window to catch sight of what I was missing. It was truly beautiful. The sight was one I never would forget. The colorful leaves covered every tree that hadn't started to bald just yet. There was light frost that covered the ground and froze over the grass. The blue sky had thick clouds in them, blocking most of the sunshine from sight. I was in awe from the view, and the chill that was sent over the carriage while we kept moving. 

Anna glanced over to me. A soft smile grew over her face while she watched me before looking at Ryker. I couldn't see what he was doing or his expression from this angle but I was sure it was a dreamy one. Anna went back to looking out the window and I let myself get lost in childish thoughts. 

I wondered what it would be like to watch real snowfall as I stood in the center of it. What type of chills would run through me? Is fresh fallen snow really a pure thing to see? I wandered so many things as the sun started to set I didn't notice how quiet the carriage had become. 

The slow constant rocking at some point had put Anna to sleep. As I glanced away from the setting sun and her way I could see her eyes closed. Her breathing was soft and light. Quickly I looked over at Ryker, worried he had fallen asleep. I didn't get to speak with him more today. My worries were drowned away as I looked at him still gazing out his window. As if he could feel my eyes his attention was pulled towards me in an instant.

Relief flooded my body as he turned to face me with a curious look. "Did you have something on your mind?" He spoke softly, maybe catching sight of the sleeping Anna. 

I lifted my hand with the intention of running it through my hair yet stopped short. I had forgotten I put it into a slight bun to show more of my manly features. It was something Ryker did not comment on and that made me thankful. Setting my hand back in my lap I turned my eyes from his to look down at the brown leather seats. "I never really asked you before....but did you prefer women?" 

It wasn't uncommon for men to like men, but it was for higher up officials to do so publicly. They needed to bare children and the same goes with Ryker. In the moment of being rescued I never asked him what he would want or need. He came to the brothel for a woman after all. 

The question was sudden and I could see Ryker was caught off guard. He watched me closely for a moment before lifting his hand to my chin. Turning my head to face him, causing my eyes to looking into his. He made sure I knew each word was truthful. "I admit I did. I would find a man attractive now and then but I never pursued one or even suggested one to bed me. I admit what drew me towards you at our first meeting was how feminine you look."

It was an answer I knew to expect but I still didn't like it. I still didn't want to accept it, but I must. He was being honest and that's all I wanted in this moment. Silence filled the carriage for a moment as we gazed at each other. I wasn't too sure what to say in reply and he could see that so he spoke again. 

"The more I learned about you and seen you are a good man I knew I had to have you. Please understand Kia I do not see you as a woman. You aren't a frail creature I know that. I want to protect you so much but it's not because you have a beautiful face....it's because I've fallen in love with you. Your mind and your strength. I know of many men who don't come forward after being assaulted because of shame. I am proud of you for rushing straight for help. You make me see you as a strong, fighting, smart man and I would lay down my life for you." Ryker slid his arms forward to wrap around me and pull me in close. I felt stunned with emotions. His warm body hugged me tightly as the softly spoken words melted into my mind.