Daydreams And Nightshade (DaN #1)

Chapter 54: Losing hope

Noah's ears were ringing when he woke up. He gritted his teeth and slowly opened one eye. The soldiers had left to pack up for the move again and he exhaled, pain still pounding through his head. He glanced over at Cassius, flinching as his eye stung by the movement and let out a sharp breath.

"Cas, what happened?"

Cassius was bleeding from his forehead, or, he had been bleeding. Gore was caked along the side of his face and when Noah could see properly it struck him that he wasn't even conscious.

"Cas?" Noah instinctively tried to lean forward, being stopped by his chains right away. "Cas? Cas!"

"He's alive," Winton said from the other side of their unconscious friend. "Not sure how he's faring though."

Noah's breath trembled. It was because he'd stopped with that story, wasn't it? They'd taken it out on Cassius. Most of it at least, he assumed as Winton was awake and Noah had woken up shortly after the kick to his head. What was he supposed to do now? Would they be satisfied with other stories? Was his only option to attempt taking the brunt of it? He couldn't let Cassius suffer like that.

"What do we do?" he asked Winton, only barely so the latter could hear. "I'm—I don't know what to do anymore."

Winton didn't reply for some time and Noah almost gave up hope, thinking he probably didn't want to talk to him if he could help it.

"That's a shame." Winton's voice finally said. "It felt as though you were the only glimpse of optimism we could find. So if you're giving up, then..."

Noah's gaze sank as Winton trailed off. He'd begun giving up, hadn't he? How couldn't he? They'd been beaten for days already, and no sign of Alexei or Ivan. Maybe they'd been captured as well but by someone else. Maybe they'd assumed the three of them were already dead and stopped looking. Was it even worth buying time anymore?

"Do you..." Noah shook his head. Was this even worth it anymore? "Do you want to hear about what happened after that tragic stuff? I mean, things got better after all."

It wasn't much of a comfort. They couldn't even attempt to ignore what was going on around them anymore. Soldiers were loading the wagons with supplies, and soon they'd be on the move again. What were they planning on doing with Cassius? He doubted they'd wait for him to wake up, so would they load him onto a wagon as well? Or would they leave him there to die, chained to the tree?

Nausea hit Noah hard. The headache didn't help and he swallowed back a retch, taking deep breaths to not think about their potential fates.

"Sure," Winton replied. It was likely he wanted to think about something else as well, and Noah tried thinking back. What happened after his recovery? His mouth twisted into a bitter smile.

"It was like I'd ended up in The Waste. I—"

"Not a great start," Winton cut in, and Noah sighed.

"Addiction was bad enough but no one had told me the recovery was that hard. It took years, and I mean... I'm still pretty damaged, I suppose? Fortunately, my family did everything to support me. Even Luna, who tried to spend more time with her partners, tried balancing it with looking after me and speeding up my recovery. I think she felt responsible for what happened, for some reason."

The silence following was unnerving. Winton wasn't much of a talker. Cassius had almost always been the one to reply or ask questions and now Noah felt like he was talking to himself.

"In the end, after mood swings I could never have imagined and countless sleepless nights it seemed as though I was getting better. But it wasn't just the physical issues of course." Noah scraped his shoes against the mud, grimacing as he noticed how worn they were. "I already told you about how hard it was to let go of it all, but the support from everyone I knew helped a lot... Still, the gossip wouldn't stop. I mean, I was supposed to be town chief. They called me so many names, saying I couldn't possibly be fit to keep things in order, and I guess in a way I believed them. My father and grandfather did their best to silence the rumors and I know they lied on occasion to try and smooth it over, but I think everyone knew. How couldn't they?"

"I thought this was about how you got better?"

"Yeah, that's... True." Noah cleared his throat, trying to think back. "It really took some time for me to feel like I could... Show myself? I really hated going outside for a long time after, but after a year or something I actually met a friend."

"You?" Winton scoffed, but Noah could guess it was meant as a joke. "I guess your belief in miracles is explained then."

"Her name's Livia," Noah continued, leaning his head back against the tree. "She's a seamstress. And a pretty... Peculiar one, I guess? She's got a unique style."

"That would be the kind of friend you could get, wouldn't it?"

Despite the constant burns Noah was still grateful for Winton finally responding to his story, so he continued without protesting.

"The first interactions we had are pretty vivid in memory actually. Luna had forced me outside. I don't know the exact reasons but I know we were sitting outside when Luna was approached by Catherine." Noah grimaced again, but he supposed Winton didn't know much about the lady. "A friend of the family. It seemed as though Luna had gotten in trouble with her so she was supposed to go retrieve this weird magical item she'd ended up losing."

Noah chuckled weakly.

"Wouldn't be Luna without the annual adventure, would it? So Catherine brought us along to the tailor where Livia worked. She was one of few in South Kerilia who knew the language of where we were going, so she wanted to hire her for the journey. And—"

Noah suddenly stopped talking as Marteau approached them. The fear of seeing the large knife in his hand made the air go out of him, and he tried bracing himself for whatever was coming. But how could he?

"So I guess we're down to two now," Marteau said as he scanned Cassius' appearance. "Probably doesn't matter. He didn't seem like the kind to crack anyway, you know? After what he had to endure alone with Calvez."

Noah frowned. They'd been separated on occasion, but had Cassius faced more sinister torture than them?

"What are you saying?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. "Cas—Cassius is still alive."

Marteau held up the knife and looked at Noah as if he was stupid.

"Not for long. We've got no use of an unconscious heap of filth, and it seems like he's as good as gone anyway."

"Wha—But he'll wake up!" Noah tried to lean forward, being held back by his chains. "You can't just—"

"And what? What are you gonna do?" Marteau smiled. "Stop me? You know there's only one way for you to do that."

Noah trembled. Not Cassius. Out of all of them they couldn't do that to him. He had to make it out of there.

"I—"

"Noah," Winton said, voice being that of a warning.

"Or do you want the knife?" Marteau turned to Winton instead, the latter saying nothing else. "Didn't think so."

Noah bit his lip as Marteau stepped closer to Cassius' unconscious body and crouched down.

"What do you think?" Marteau glanced over at Noah. "Just slitting his throat, or a cut just enough to let him bleed out in a couple of hours? Let him fade away slowly while we leave. Imagine the panic he'll feel when he realizes we're all gone and he's not gonna last more than a few moments longer."

"Stop," Noah pleaded, face scrunched up. He knew the moment would come, of course. The knowledge hit him as soon as he started losing hope. How long could they last? Who'd go first? Would they all die, or just one or two?

"Stop?" Marteau's voice mocked him. "You know, I always thought you were the funny of the bunch. Keep it up and maybe you'll last longer than these two."

He placed the knife against Cassius' stomach. A slow death, Noah guessed, but he wouldn't have it.

"Wait!" He squeezed his eyes together. "I'll tell you."

It was as though he could feel Winton tense up as he drew a trembling breath, not entirely sure about what he was doing, but he wasn't going back now.

"I'll tell you where the others are."