To Be So Lonely // Ben Solo

6

Leia did not have to ask Cyra if she was interested in joining Rey to find Luke or if she wanted to join the fight against the First Order. If it wasn't obvious Cyra wanted out of the war by her clear isolation, it was in her refusal to believe Ben as redeemable after he murdered his father.

Though Cyra was indebted to Leia for answering the call to save her from certain death on Ilum, they both knew Cyra's place was not within the Light or the Dark. She had been stuck in the middle since the fateful day Luke denied her; it was the day she stopped caring enough to choose a side. It only grew as the galactic war grew—either side, there was pointless destruction, losses, wins. It didn't matter what side she was on. At the end of the day, the people at the head of each side was what mattered: a mother trying to regain her son and a son trying to run from his past, each relentless in their own fight. It was because of a family she had grown up in that caused the destruction, suffering of the galaxy. She wanted no part of it.

Cyra spent a week recovering from her concussion at the Resistance base. When she was well enough to walk without the risk of toppling over, she practically raced outside to feel real air. She stood in the entrance to the Med Bay for several minutes, her arms stretched around her waist, her chin up, and her skin feeling the sun. She hadn't felt sun so warmly in years. It kissed her pale skin, brought her warmth. She barely remembered the last time she was outside in just a short sleeved shirt.

She nodded to people in the Resistance who nodded at her first, as she stumbled around the base looking for the dining hall. She wanted some genuine substance, not just hospital food portions.

She peered at the landing strip at a closer distance as she passed by. Transports, bombers, a number of X-wings. She smiled sadly as she saw an A-wing. She continued on.

Some distant shouting occurred behind her. She chose to ignore it, assuming it was not for her. She didn't know anybody there. She heard the voice call again and she glanced to the side quickly, but didn't stop walking. There was a man running in her direction.

A hand reached for her arm. Cyra sidestepped to avoid his touch. She raised her eyebrows as he rolled his eyes and rested his hands on his hips instead. He was in an orange flight suit, his helmet clenched to his palm with his fingertips. He was older, close to her age, it looked like, and his tan complexion succeeded in highlighting just how pale six years on Ilum made her.

Cyra crossed her arms across her chest. "Can I help you?"

"You're the new girl, right? The one we brought in from Ilum?" he asked.

"'We'?" asked Cyra.

The man rolled his eyes. "Rey, Finn, and Chewie. The Resistance. Sorry. Guess I'm just too much of a team player," he joked, flashing his charming smile at her. When Cyra raised her eyebrow, he sucked in his lips awkwardly and extended his hand. "I'm Poe. I'm kind of Leia's Close-in-Command, so I just like to make myself familiar with people who are going to be joining--"

"I'm not joining," said Cyra. She did shake his hand briefly. "I'm Cyra, and I'm only stopping by."

Poe paused. "Oh. I had just heard some rumors. My fault."

Cyra forced a smile and turned to leave. "No problem. Have a good one, Poe."

"Your parents knew Leia, yeah?" he continued, walking alongside her.

Cyra did well to hide her annoyance. She questioned the man's interest in her, but verbally only said a short agreement.

"My father knew Han, he was apart of the Strike Team that helped take down the second Death Star," said Poe proudly. "And my mother was a Rebel pilot, just like your parents."

"So you asked me if my parents knew Leia, but already knew that," noted Cyra. She glanced at Poe, who was forced to agree. She stopped and held her hands on her hips. "What do you want, flyboy?"

Poe sighed. "I heard the rumors that you knew him, before he was Kylo Ren. That you grew up with him, with Leia and Han. I wanted to know if you were apart of the plan to turn the tide."

"The tide turns with whoever has more weaponry, I'd assume," said Cyra . She rolled her eyes. "I have barely been here a week and there's already drama. Imagine that. And you all wonder why I stayed in isolation for six years."

Poe's face scrunched in confusion.

Cyra sighed. "I can hear people's thoughts if I'm bored enough. I was."

"Like...Every thought?" asked Poe, his face flushing.

Cyra, against her will, let out a laugh. "No. Not unless it's immediate," she said. Her smile settled and she looked around them. "Something-in-Command, huh?"

"I was the one talked to you," he said, and Cyra hummed in agreement, "On Ilum," they said together.

"Sure," Cyra continued. "Fair. So you hear a call from a mysterious girl Han and Leia know, she gets rescued, and the rumors about her being the one to save Ben Solo start. Interesting. Well, unfortunately for you guys, it's not true. I'll be taking leave soon."

"To where?" asked Poe, his brow raised. "You're really not going to stay and help us?"

"You really don't have to do the whole 'recruit me' thing. I left this fight before it started. I plan to steal one of your ships, fly out into the galaxy, and die old and peaceful. There's a point in the galaxy that's far away from all of this."

Poe could not fathom the words from Cyra's mouth. Where there was confusion, there was now irritation in the way his face scrunched. "Your parents were Rebel fighters, they fought to free the galaxy from oppression--"

"I am aware."

"--and now this our fight, the fight to end it all, and you can just ignore all of it?"

"I can."

Cyra did not have to look at Poe's face to see that he was disgusted with her. His presence in the Force, the waves of negative energy exuding from him, said that for her. Besides, during his speech of righteousness, Cyra caught the arrangement of ships nearby, the seemingly endless airway of X-Wings, and was focused on a darkly colored one. 

"I like that one," she said, pointing at it. "Perhaps I'll ask for that one."

"That would be mine," grumbled Poe.

Cyra grinned up at him. "Even better."

Poe was held from whatever snippy remark was going to exit his mouth when sirens began to blare around the base. Disregarding their immediate flinches, Cyra and Poe looked instantly to the sky above, searching for approaching vessels in the atmosphere, but the sky was clear, for now.

They looked to each other. Neither one of them needed to have the Force to know their next thought: where is Leia?