To Be So Lonely // Ben Solo

19

When Cyra returned to their corridor, she barely stepped through the locked door before she saw Ben stomping down the corridor at her. He waited until the door to the rest of the ship closed before he looked down at her, his brow line almost covering his eyes with how angry his face appeared.

"Where have you been?" he snapped. "I haven't seen you since this morning. I thought something happened. I thought some Stormtroopers were disobeying my direct orders and went after you, or hurt you! You could have been hurt. I almost put the entire ship on lockdown to find you—"

Cyra reached her hands up to his face and pulled him down to her lips. She waited for him to recognize their sudden shift in spacial movement before she continued to kiss him. It was him who broke their lips apart when he leaned away from her face, his hands wrapping around hers. He searched her eyes, confused and anxious about the subtle spark of peace in them, even after he attacked her with his worry. They remained close to each other's face.

"I survived," she whispered to him, stealing a quick peck. She almost laughed at how stunned he appeared, still, and wide eyed from the sudden kiss. "You don't have to worry about me, Ben. You'll know if I'm in trouble, remember?" she said, moving her hand to tap his forehead gently. She stepped away from him and started to walk to their room.

Ben remained in place for a number of confused seconds before he turned and followed her. He watched her hop down the stairs, randomly and confusingly joyful in her movements. She disappeared behind the wall where their bed was.

Ben stayed at the top of the stairs, his hands grasping the railing. He watched the spot where the doorway was, awaiting vigorously for her to appear again.

To say he was confused was an understatement. Cyra left him early in the morning, crying and shaken from allowing herself Dark Side control, and returned just before the night, seemingly fine. Beyond inquiring to her mood, he needed to convey to her his pure fear upon not being able to find her all day, and subsequently chew her ear off a bit about her greeting with Hux. He would, perhaps, leave out the part where he force-choked Hux to get the man to shut up about disrespect and all of it. Ben wondered if the other Board Members would take the hint that Cyra could do no wrong, and they would not push on her presence on the ship.

Cyra only changed into the clothes she wore to bed. It seemed she took a short shower, too, Ben noticed, as she walked by him to the couch and smelled of lavender. Maybe he was daydreaming too much about her mood to have noticed.

She tilted her head against the couch, eyebrow raised. "Are you going to come sit or just stand there all night?"

Silently, Ben stepped down the stairs and took a seat beside her on the couch. Their body languages were always widely different, but none more so than on the couch. Cyra was comfortable, her legs tucked underneath her bottom, leaning on the side of the couch to face him, and Ben was sitting upright, his hands on his knees.

"Will you relax?" she sighed, reaching to push him gently. He barely moved, but he did look her way. She giggled at how scared he looked. "Ben. Just relax."

Cyra scooted closer to him and put her hand on his chest, pushing his back to the couch. She left her hand there for a moment until it trailed down his body and found his hand, which she held loosely in her own. As he stared at their hands, he realized he could never forget the feeling of their hands together. How small her fingers felt laced between the grooves of his long fingers. The longer he held onto her hand, the more he started to remember the feeling of being loved by her.

She leaned her nose against his cheek, her forehead touching his temple. Ben surprised himself with how easily he leaned into her as well, turning his head to feel her nose against his own. His eyes closed. He could almost hear her smile, the relief of him complying with what she was trying to do. He was letting himself go...