Confessions of an Ex-Death-Eater

Friday 7th December

For Harry, the weekend approached too fast, bringing with it more fear of his feelings and an even greater fear of how to act upon them. His talk with Mione and Ron hadn't helped one iota and Teddy was forbidden from broaching the subject. He didn't want to think about his feelings for Draco and what it might mean, yet it was all he did was think about.

He had promised to visit Draco again on Friday evening after he'd collected Teddy from school and there was also the small matter of Draco's car still being at the university. Harry was certain Draco would be needing it soon.

Clasping a paper bag of seedless green grapes from his local greengrocers, he side-alonged Teddy straight to manor after collecting him from school. He didn't like to side-along with Teddy under normal circumstances because of the responsibility but it seemed he was breaking a lot of his rules these days. Teddy actually fared better with Apparation than he did with the Floo and, as soon as they landed, he sprinted towards the front door and rang the bell. By the time Harry had caught up, Scorpius had already answered it and the two boys had disappeared off, leaving the cold December air to blow through the open door and into the manor. Harry was sure he could taste snow in the air and wondered if they were heading for one of those rare white Christmases they rarely got in England.

Narcissa met him in the hallway as he was shrugging off his heavy winter coat and kicking off his boots.

'You'll have to keep a pair of slippers here permanently, Harry,' she teased as she kissed him on both cheeks. 'The manor gets far too cold for just socks. Merlin knows how Voldemort managed to glide around here in his ghastly bare feet without getting frostbite, but then again, that man wasn't human. I do like to imagine him in a pair of fluffy pink slippers when he withdrew to his room.' She giggled and Harry couldn't help smirking at the thought. He liked this Narcissa, the woman who had been freed from the restraints of her marriage and the shadow of dark magic. 'Come through and have a glass of wine. I would like a quick chat with you before you go to see Draco.'

She led him through to the kitchen as Harry asked, 'and how is our patient today?'

'He's better. Thank you for being here for him. It was particularly bad yesterday, he doesn't normally let things deteriorate to that point, but Draco's been a bit distracted the last few weeks.' Harry was certain her crystal-blue eyes were sparkling as she handed him a glass of red wine. She remained standing close to him, studying him. Her perfume reminded him of scented roses after a freshening summer downpour.

'I don't think I want to ask why but I seem certain you're going to tell me.'

Her eyes narrowed slightly. 'You know perfectly well why, Mr Potter, and in lieu of a father-figure in his life, I must ask if your intentions are honourable.'

Harry felt the colour drain from his face. 'It's not like that between us!' He spluttered, taking back all thoughts of liking this new Narcissa. He was completely caught off guard.

'Hmmm,' she said over the rim of her wine glass. 'Perhaps that's why he has been so distracted. Harry, you do realise what he feels for you, what he has always felt for you?'

'I have read Confessions, but that was a long time ago. We were just kids.'

'Maybe so, but it doesn't mean that his feelings are any less, and I think the last month or so has only served to re-ignite what he has always felt for you.' She paused and a silence fell between them. Harry was totally unsure where to take this conversation. He was sure his face must be beetroot red.

'I never knew,' she said, studying the contents of her glass. 'Well, I had my suspicions. But I never knew for sure until he gave me the first complete draft of his book. He wanted to make sure I was alright with what he had written, mostly regarding my relationship with Lucius and the episode here, you know to what I refer. Of course, once I saw his dedication, well, things fell into place. And then as I read through the manuscript... I felt an added horror you know. He had suffered for all those years and I never knew. As his mother, well, it makes one feel inadequate. I cannot even begin to fathom what he and poor Astoria went through either, or how they managed. My one role in life, and sometimes I feel like I failed so badly...' her words faded and she took a sip of wine.