Confessions of an Ex-Death-Eater

Friday 14th December 2007

The initial wait at St Mungo's had been awful for Harry. He and Scorpius were ushered into the corner of the room while the Healers worked on setting Teddy's ankle and although Narcissa and Draco had followed shortly behind, they hadn't been allowed in as they weren't relatives. As a result, Harry and Scorpius sat together waiting and watching the bustle that was going on around Teddy who had been sedated to manage the pain.

Eventually, Scorpius asked if he could sit on Harry's knee and have a cuddle.

'He is going to be okay, isn't he?' Scorpius asked in a worried little voice.

'Of course, Scamp, they'll just be taking their time to ensure they set it right before they fix it back together.' The confidence in his voice hid the nerves that Harry was feeling in his heart, even though he knew that really, it was only a break and he'd suffered far worse in his lifetime. That didn't make it any better, and in fact, it was the reassurance of the cuddle that Scorpius was giving him which helped calm Harry the most.

'It's my fault,' Scorpius said in a quiet voice into Harry's neck where he's buried his head. 'I dared him to go higher.'

Harry gently smoothed the blond boy's hair. 'It's not your fault, Scamp. Boys will be boys. We all do silly things as we grow up. Even as adults we do silly things. We sometimes feel like we have to push ourselves. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. That's how we learn. Teddy didn't have to climb the tree to start off with, let alone go any higher. He's responsible for his own actions. You mustn't blame yourself.'

'He's my bestfriend, Harry. I don't want anything bad to happen to him.'

'He's going to be okay, Scamp. Do you believe me? One day I'll tell you about the adventures that I got into with my bestfriends Ron and Mione. We got in all sorts of trouble and we came out fine.'

'Worse than breaking your ankle like that?'

'Far worse.'

'Was my papa there with you too?'

'Not really, mostly it was just me and Ron and Hermione.'

'Is that the Uncle Ron that Teddy talks about?'

'Yes. He's my bestfriend, a bit like you and Teddy, only we met on the Hogwarts Express when we were eleven.'

Scorpius looked up at Harry with deep contemplation on his face. 'Teddy says that his Uncle Ron says that you're going to kiss my papa. Is that true?'

'Well...' Harry knew he was blushing and was grateful that Scorpius seemed oblivious to his discomfort. He ran a hand through his hair.

'Is it like a kind of dare?'

'No, it's because... well, its complex.'

'Do men kiss other men?'

'Sometimes, when they like each other a lot.'

'Do you like my papa?'

'Yes.'

'Just like-like or love-like?'

'Love-like, I think.'

'So why haven't you kissed him yet?'

'I guess, Scamp, I'm a bit scared, I don't want to get it wrong.'

'But you're Harry Potter, you don't get scared.'

Harry shook his head. 'No, Scamp, we all get scared, it's normal to get scared of things or situations we're unsure about or don't know enough about. I guess that when it comes to kissing your papa, I'm scared of where it might lead. It's a bit complex to explain.' And Harry realised it was true. All these people around him who had been telling him to work out what he felt for Draco and it was a nine-year-old who managed to eek-out the truth quite plainly. The truth was he did love Draco, he probably had for years once he'd got his head around Confessions and re-thought his past. But he was scared, scared of his sexuality and scared of the future.