This isn't what friends do

62. Mason; coming out

The entire way home from work I was trying to think of a way to begin telling people. I could sit everyone down tell them straight I’m gay. I could say I’m with Brandon and let them figure the rest out. I could tell everyone but my Dad and hope he never finds out. I could do it today or tomorrow or a month from now the outcome would always be the same so why keep prolonging it.
I walked through the front door the words leaving my mouth before I could see anybody’s faces to change my mind. “Can I speak to everyone please.” It was after I said it I looked to find just my Mom sat on the sofa watching T.V.

“Your Dads not home Mase. Come sit.” She patted the sofa next to her my belly doing somersaults knowing even though my Dad wasn’t home my Mom would still press me to tell her what I wanted to talk about. Hesitantly, regretting this already I wondered over sitting beside her on the sofa. “Tell me.” She turned to face me her blue eyes looking totally relaxed something my words would quickly change.

“Mom I-I erm.” My eyes couldn’t look at her or at my hands the way they were trembling. I couldn’t look at anything longer than a second as I tried forming the words not thinking this through fully. “You know erm- well I wanted to say erm well I-I like erm well actually I’m ga-gay.” I was a stuttering mess but the entire time she sat waiting towards the end her hand came over to rest on my knee it not moving when I finally got my words out.

“You think I didn’t know honey?” She was smiling... I snapped my eyes to hers finally still feeling like I could be sick. “I’ve known since you were about three that you probably would be and I still love you unconditionally.” Her hand moved to cup my face as tears of relief filled my eyes and I hid my head into her shoulder letting it all out.

“Wh-what about-about Dad?” I pulled back to ask her after a couple of minutes of me sobbing and her soothing me by rubbing up and down my back.

“He knows. Well I’ve told him before but I don’t think he believes me or wants to think about it. You know what his like but denying it won’t stop who you are. He will love you still Mason it will just take him time.” She explained some what helping me a little but I wished she’d of said he only acted like he didn’t want me to be for a joke or something only I knew my Dad didn’t joke. “How come you finally decided to tell us all? I mean I’ve been waiting for the day but what makes now the time?”

“I not long admitted it to myself Mom really.” I pulled back wiping my wet face on the back of my arms sitting up again. “That and Brandon’s now single and well we really like each other.” I told her everything because it might as well all be out there in the open instead of telling her bit by bit as things progressed.

“I’m happy hun. I love Brandon and always hoped it would happen I could never decide though if he felt the same or not.” I laughed a little loosening my tight chest. I couldn’t actually believe what I was hearing. “Tell your Dad when you think your ready. There’s no rush.” She stroked down my arm lovingly my smile growing.

I nodded feeling like there probably wasn’t any rush she’s right. “So Brandon told you he likes you huh? That all or...” She grinned her eyes moving to my neck making me groan rolling my eyes. What is it with parents being embarrassing and talking about our sex lives. I didn’t mind Brandon’s Dad so much because one he isn’t my family and two his funny I suppose and embarrasses Brandon more than me but I for sure wouldn’t say anything to my Mom.

“What’s for dinner?” I quickly changed the subject making her laugh and stand up.

“I’ll go start something.” She laughed leaving the room into the kitchen my happy silence didn’t last long before my sister was flopping onto the sofa beside me.

“Can I tell you something?” I asked her having the confidence now to just come out with it. My Dad would still be the hardest person I’m ever going to have to tell but he could wait. She was nodding biting her lower lip nervously probably no idea what I was about to say but hearing from my tone as well as the atmosphere that it was serious. “I like boys not girls. I’m gay.” I explained to her my eyes struggling to stay locked with hers as I did.

“Oh Okay cool. So do you have a boyfriend yet?” She shrugged her shoulders as if what I was telling her was nothing. I smiled feeling more than excepted by her.

“Not yet no but if you see me kissing a guy would that not bother you?” I asked cocking an eyebrow at her as again she just shrugged.

“All it changes is now when I tease you saying girls aren’t attracted to you you won’t care. I got to say boys instead. Laugh when you can’t get a boyfriend.” She poked my side laughing as she teased me.

“Yeah yeah well thanks a lot.” I half joked whilst smiling over the moon with today’s decisions to began telling people. Now I wouldn’t have to hide around my Mom or sister or Brandon’s Dad or Blair or Levi and next time I see Tony I was telling him too because right now I wanted to tell everyone!

I ate my Mom’s food while me her and my sister all spoke about boys and they gave me tips... like I really needed them I already could probably guess everything they knew anyway because news flash, I’m a guy! They told me a way to a mans heart is through his stomach so make sure I feed Brandon a lot. They said that guys still liked dates even if they sound girly which reminded me that me and Brandon had never been on a date per say. Guy’s like sex, my sister spoke up making my Mom glare at her as she shrugged her shoulders. “Everyone should like sex missy there’s nothing wrong with that. I hope you know nothing about that yet though.” She pointed to her wearing her stern face.

“Me neither because even I haven’t done that yet!” I openly admitted making Sofia laugh at me.

“Leave him alone. I’m glad he hasn’t. Well done Mason.” She kissed my hand that she had to pull up to her lips giving me a genuine smile. “His right Sofia to wait. I’m sure it will be a million times better with someone he loves.”

I had to try to keep the smile at bay as I thought about how right she was. With Bryson it was so flat... everything seemed robotic like we were just going through the motions. I was after my own pleasure and him his. With Brandon I felt totally consumed. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than the feelings he was giving me and desperately wanting to give him the same. It was nothing like Bryson and me. I never wanted anything different.

My Dad was still out when I went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed at ten. My shower was only a quick one, luckily I dressed in the bathroom into my boxers and Brandon’s stranger things T-shirt because as I planned in my head how I’d tell all of this to Brandon I bumped right into my Mom on the landing near my door.

“Mason.” She brought me back to her as I apologised and went to walk away. “I wanted to say that I’m proud of you.” She had tears in her eyes as she said it her tiny hand on my forearm for comfort.

“But when you do be with a guy be safe even if it’s with Brandon. I know you’d trust him but use protection at first hunny.” She made me roll my eyes as I cringed at her safe sex speech which I thought I’d of gotten out of being gay and all.

“I know Mom.” I took a step away towards my closed bedroom door.

“Not only protection though, respect each other you know make sure your not rushing things or he doesn’t take advantage of you.” I nodded again mumbling I know for the second time as I reached for my door handle.

“Night Mom.” I ended the conversation not needing any more of a lecture from her because I was more than embarrassed right now.