quarantine - a modern wolfstar au.

play with my hair. you know you want to.

sirius and remus were sat all comfy on the couch, their dirty dishes from their pizza on the cluttered coffee table, watching a movie.

they had made a list of movies to watch, since they'd be stuck inside for the next two to three weeks. (maybe more, seeing as some people aren't respecting the "stay at home" part of having no school, and are partying instead. it's not a free vacation. it's serious. some would even say... sirius.)

if you were curious, here's "remus & sirius' list of movies to binge while unfortunately stuck together for weeks", unfinished.
- shark boy & lava girl
- wall-e
- my neighbor totoro
- love, simon
- titanic
- the bridge to terabithia
- the diary of a wimpy kid series (with rodrick when he was hot)
- the perks of being a wallflower

the pair are currently watching shark boy and lava girl, a classic.

"i always wished taylor lautner would break into my house and take me on an adventure when i was younger" sirius whined.

the boys laughed together as they made dumbass commentary every time something noteworthy happened in the movie.

as the end of the movie neared, sirius scooted close to remus and rested his head on his lap.

at this sudden movement, remus' heart jumped.

let's get something straight. (well, maybe not so much straight.) remus has had the hugest fucking crush ever on sirius since they were 12 years old. the only person who knows this is lily evans. he usually tries to hide it, but the constant jokingly flirting sirius pulls on him doesn't help at all. he always goes pink and doesn't know what to say. and this really pisses remus off.

it's frustrating how much someone can control you by saying just the right words. the worst part is that sirius thinks its funny. he knows all the strings to pull and how they make remus react, and god fucking damn it, it's frustrating for the boy.

but remus can't help but fall deeper and deeper for his friend with every word he speaks and every giggle and all his snarky smiles. the past few months of them living together has just made it worse. remus is undoubtedly in love with sirius, which just absolutely sucks. because sirius only sees him as a friend. always a friend, nothing more.

remus stopped paying attention to the movie, his thoughts overwhelming his brain, until he got distracted by a small poke on his chin.

"why're you so quiet all of a sudden?" sirius asked, his voice tired and deep.

"i've been quiet during most the film. that's kinda the whole point." remus replied dryly.

"no, no, no, darling. you know what i mean. like, you're quiet. your whole energy is quiet. you're tense. what's going on?" sirius asked seriously.

what the hell am i supposed to respond to that bullshit, remus asked himself. 'oh no worries, sirius, just thinking about how i'm hopelessly in love with you and how the feeling will never be reciprocated.'

"oh... oh! i get it. remy, i know your secret. no need to hide it! i completely understand." sirius cheekily smiled up at remus, who was getting more and more nervous by the second.

wait... does he actually know? fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck fuck fuckfuck fuck.

"you wanna play with my hair. c'mon, darling, you know you don't have to ask," sirius laughed. "go on, play with my hairrrrr. you know you want toooo" sirius sang, smiling up at his roommate.

remus couldn't help it. he was relieved, and sirius' laugh was too contagious not to laugh as well.

"you sure got me there, sisi. your gorgeous locks were just distracting me far too much to watch the movie," he said, while running his hand through sirius' long, black hair. so goddamn soft.

why does he have to be so perfect?

god, i can't believe how stupid i am for falling for this bloke. he's the star of the show, everybody loves him, it's so typical. he could get anybody he could ever want, why would he ever choose me?
he wouldn't.
he won't.
i'm just hurting myself by hoping that maybe the flirtatious jokes are serious, that they mean anything at all to him like they do to me. fuck. i'm so stupid.
how the hell am i going to ever get over him?