what the fuck do I do. how do I do this. do I do this. wait how can I think of this. I have revenge to seek not mother another woman's child. not to sound like a bitch but this wasn't my plan. this wasn't my way of life. I have had one gender on my mind and that to get my revenge my rebirthing. yeah I found my father and jax and the club but what about my life they took from me. so I give that up because I am a sudden mother to some ones child. wait mother. I need to give this child up I am not a stable person. I am not a bad person but Liam is a child a baby a new baby. a baby that I knew of not him. I don't know anything about baby's, I sit here staring at him and think how jess really fucked up my life choices right now. tank dad and jax keep looking over at me like they know what I am thinking but how do they even know how and what should I fucking do.
"what about club ladies" I ask hearing them stop talking
"what u mean" jax ask shocked at me
"I I cant do this" I point to the child and jax walks out I look to dad maybe jax had club things todo
"whata bout the ol ladys" he ask arms folded
"any want a child that they cant have and want I mean any better than me" I ask nearly about to cry but tank grabs me in a hug
"we get given what we can handle" he says and I raise my voice making everyone look at me
"what I can handle. your fucking crazy tank. I've been abused raped nearly killed, trained, killed hell I make your club look like a charity. handle what I can handle your saying I was handed this shit life coz I can handle it. then I have been given his life to map out. to help grow to love and nurture. what about me tank what about my life that was taken. getting boss was away of me getting my life back and jess wants me to stop and take care of a child, life handed me more than I should have been dealt with. a baby tank a fucking baby. one that I never meet one I have no idea about. hell I just started being with jax what about that what if nothing works out here and I am stuck with a baby me and my motorbike" I yell and I am exhausted and frowning at them jax eyes are wide at the door about to leave. dad was looking at me. tank was shocked I haven't exploded like this and none have seen me out of my natural calm and cool persona so this is not normal for them but hell this situation isn't normal. this is shit out of books and horror films.
"baby" jax says broken but I look up to him
"leave just leave" I say as I Pick liam up and walk out of the room I have tears coming down my face as I feel my body shake with terror of looking after a baby and no one wants to help me find a better solution and help me kill who I need to fucking kill to get my life back. none of them know. none of them feel what I feel. none of them wake up and feel their life on the line. none of the wish they had their life ripped from them when they couldn't breath. none of them pleaded to god to take the memories away. none of them feels trapped and this made me trapped more even though its not the baby's fault how could I not feel this way.
I love Nothing less to be able to except this baby to watch him grow and help raise him to be a good man. that just cant happen. he will eventually want revenge and that will put him in danger not only that if I leave this and kill who ever comes after me after awhile it will get Liam killed. I ma being responsible this isn't a life for a baby. I need to get rid of the monsters so he can grow safe. seems over whelming in its self
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Brimfire Mc
RomanceA mc dedicated to saving children. Stopping sex trafficking. One mission they might get a gift. A gift of a women who has been in there hands for 17 years. A girl who was taken sold raped and abused. Not for weakest of hearts Is she the person who s...
