Doctor Who One-shots

Illusions (2/3)

The merchants from the stands kept screaming. After all, it was really a souk. I was walking through the alley, searching for a calm spot, where I could think about what to do. There was still no sign of the Doctor.

The sun of the planet was shining bright, and it was very hot, which doesn’t help me to calm down. I was climbing the stairs of the souk, just to go on the other part of this infinite marketplace. Some merchants were screaming at me to try their merchandise, but I pretend not to hear them. I walk as if I have a goal. I couldn’t find the Doctor, nor a quiet place.

I was feeling dizzy. The sun, the heat, the crowd, the hubbub… it only makes me more anxious.

“Ah! There you are, little one!”

As I hear this familiar voice from behind me, I turn around just to see the Doctor.

“Doctor!”, I said while jumping into his arms.

“What happened? I thought I lost you in this crowd!”

“Y-Yeah… but right now I don’t feel so good. Could we search for a place with less people or just go back to the TARDIS, please?”

“Okay. Let’s go search for a quiet place before”.

As we walked, still hand in hand, we glimpse the last stand of the souk, and at the end of it, a giant tree standing with a rudimentary bench below. We walk towards the bench, and we sit together. There was barely anyone here, since it’s the end of the souk and there was nothing to do after it. It was just the tree.

“You know, Y/N, I thought I lost you earlier.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I was really worried about you.”, he said this while looking into my eyes.

With the tips of his fingers, he lifted my chin. His face was dangerously approaching mine. His lips brushed mine. Then he crashed his lips into mine. His kiss was soft and short. But it was full of feelings, I could sense it.

“I love you, Y/N. I didn’t know how to say it to you, but I feel like this is the right place and time to say it now.”

I just couldn’t believe what was happening between us right now. I was feeling so happy, but so happy that I couldn’t say anything or do anything. I was freezing. This could only happen in my dreams, the Doctor loving me back…

“I l-…” before I could say anything to him, the Doctor disappeared like a cloud of smog.

Everything started to disappear like smog. The sun disappeared, all the bright colours of the souk too. The night came back, so did the snow on the field. Everything became blue and white again. I could see very far away the TARDIS, with light coming from the open door. I understood quickly that the Doctor was in there, and I didn’t know how but he made the souk disappeared.

Just one second ago, everything was just like a dream. The Doctor loved me back. But now, I came back to reality, with the Doctor caring about me just like a companion, like he did with many others.

I walked towards the TARDIS, the slower I could. I was wondering if the Doctor saw me kissing his mirage. If it’s because of it, he made an end to the illusion.

Soon enough, I was before the TARDIS. I could see the Doctor inside, running from a side of the console to another, touching all kinds of buttons and levers.

As I came back to the TARDIS, I closed the door behind me.

“There you are! I thought you’d never come back.”

“H-ha, yeah. I was… taking my time.”

“Yep, I felt this.”

I was feeling extremely uncomfortable. And questions escaped from my lips.

“Did we see the same illusion?”

“Yup, well, when I lost you, I suppose that I saw things you didn’t see, and that you saw things I didn’t see.”

“What did you see when I wasn’t there?”

“Lot of things!”, he said cheerfully. “I was talking to a merchant on a stand. You know, we was like talking to me about this alien technology I’ve never seen – well, I suppose the technology doesn’t exist, and that it was part of the illusion – but it was so interesting that I couldn’t go anywhere. And you know, it gave me an idea: I could bring this technology to life by making it myself!”, he said the last word with his hands in the air, his childish expression on his face. He was looking at me so joyfully, I was feeling ashamed that my face wasn’t so bright, but sad.

“Wow, it sounds so cool!”, I tried my best not to look so bad.

“And you, Y/N, what did you see?”

“Um… I-I don’t remember very well. I was in the middle of the crowd, and with the heat I guess I was feeling dizzy.”

“Oh, alright, I hope that you still enjoyed our trip.”

“Y-Yeah!! Thanks, Doctor, for bringing me there.”

“So… my clever Y/N. Where to next?” the Doctor asked, enthusiastically.

“I’m not sure where I want to go, Doctor… maybe somewhere you’d like?”

“Ugh! It’s no fun when I get to choose where to go. C’mon, Y/N, tell me what kind of planet or era you’d like to see!”

“Um… Neo-Tokyo should be nice I guess.” I said, my eyes pointed at my shoes.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“There’s something you’re not telling me. I can see it in your eyes.” He marks a pause. “You know, I know my clever Y/N like no one would ever know you. Getting to travel with you made me know you better as ever, as well as knowing me.”

He was approaching me while I was still looking at my shoes. I was scared that tears came filling up my eyes and I didn’t want the Doctor to see me like this.

He was before me. He brought his hand to my cheek, cupping my face in a very tender way.

“Y/N, you know you can talk to me. I won’t judge or anything. You know that.”

As he was trying to be the more reassuring possible, I feel my eyes getting wet. But before he could see me crying, I decide to go away.

“S-Sorry.” I muttered.

I went to the room destined to me inside of the TARDIS, and I locked myself in it. I know that by doing this, the Doctor will be even more worried about me, even upset. But I just can’t think about something else than the kiss I had in the illusion. I’m asking myself if the illusion is based on what we want to see or live…?

I know I feel a deep connection with the Doctor, but I never thought it could be called “love”. It’s trust, compassion, deep care… but “love”?

Moreover, I’m not even sure that the Doctor feels that way too about me, and I’m just feeling so ashamed. I can’t allow myself to feel this kind of emotion towards the Doctor without him to feel half of what I feel. It doesn’t sound right.

But now, there he is. Knocking on my door. I shouldn’t have run away. I’ve must have predicted he would come after me.

I didn’t respond to his first knock, so he keeps knocking on my door, waiting for me to open it or say something. But he’s too quick, and I couldn’t even move from my bed that he has started to talk.