Lean On Me

In Case of Dork: Turn Around

Santa Monica Pier was unlike anything I’d ever seen or experienced before. It was like a massive carnival full of rides, games, street vendors, and fun food stands crammed into a tightly packed space. The air swirled with sweet smells of American funnel cakes and a treat called elephant ears combined with the unmistakable aroma of French fries hot out of the oil and corn dogs. Veronica, Chrissie, Mary and I had been walking along the boardwalk that eventually attached to the fishing pier. We had stopped for a moment because Mary and Veronica had gone into some shop that was nestled in between the bars and some of the pier side places to eat. I sighed and looked Chrissie’s way.

 “What are you smiling about? It gets me so nervous when you smile like that. I’m always afraid you’re going to blurt something out like….like I fucked Brian on the Metro while a homeless man wanked or…Brian and I…took nudes of each other and….we took nudes of each other. I had nearly caused Chrissie to choke on her cotton candy. She laughed and looked at me.

 “Lydia! I don’t think anything I could possibly admit to can compare to the things you’ve done the past few days. I will never, ever top the shit you've done here in LA.” Chrissie defended herself.

 “There’s all kinds of things you could admit to that could outdo what I’ve done! Granted, you’d never do that kinda’ freaky shit but…” I stopped for a moment, my eyes widening. “Oh my god, what kind of freaky shit did you do with Brian? Chrissie, I swear to god I’m pushing you into the ocean if you say Brian got you all hot and bothered by using four syllable words while wearin' velvet pants! I know that's the kinda' lame ass thing that would turn you the hell on!” I cautioned her emphatically, taking another chunk out of my blue coconut Hawaiian Shaved Ice.

 “No! No! Not at all. I was going to tell you that last night Brian and I talked about how much we’d enjoyed each other while we were here. We needed the time away from the baby to be together. We really re-connected with each other.” Chrissie said with that sparkle in her eye and another wad of cotton candy in her mouth. “Then he did things to me with his tongue I didn’t even know were possible! Oh god, Lydia! So hot….so sexy. And Brian does wear velvet pants so well. It's like paradise and I'm on a permanant vacation.” She said all giggly. I sighed as I stared at her before shaking my head. So much for my Hawaiian ice.

 “See, Christine….it’s shit like this that you need to warn me about. I wasn’t expecting that to end with Brian’s tongue coating you in a thin layer of saliva. Chrissie smiled that stupid smile at me again.

 “I thought you’d be so very excited! Me and Brian in LA getting all…” I stopped her.

 “What? Getting all what? Oral…alllllll you got was oral. I remember the day you cowered in fear at the word penis and now your life revolves around one…NO! Two! Two of them. You have two penises to keep occupied in different ways.” I said, resuming my Hawaiian ice. “Mmm…” I began. “Did you call him daddy?”

 “LYDIA!” Ah, Chrissie just as quickly reverted to her reserved and easily embarrassed self. I guess she did still cower at the word penis…or daddy…or both. Mary and Veronica came walking out of the shop in which they had been, stopping before the bench where Chrissie and I sat.

 “I got you something.” Veronica raised her eyebrows at Chrissie and Mary couldn’t help but laugh.

 “You did?” Chrissie inquired, shoving that cotton candy down like mad. Veronica reached into her bag.

 “Tah dah!” Veronica presented Chrissie with a bag of glow-in-the-dark press on stars.  I laughed when I saw what it was. I laughed mostly because Veronica’s sense of humor had returned even though the faint veil of post-partum still lingered. “They’re for the ceiling of your bedroom. Of course, you probably won’t see them given all that hair.” Chrissie threw the bag of glow-in-the-dark stars back at Veronica.