WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER. banginho

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Around 4am the next morning, Minho had enough. He dialed up Chan's number and sat waiting in anxiety on his bed.

Things were getting better in his family. He and his mom were on good terms, and his dad was willing to hear him out. It wasn't perfect, but it was getting there.

Chan hadn't tried messaging him since he'd thrown his phone, and Minho felt himself drowning in guilt. Chan hadn't been having an easy go of things lately either, and Minho maybe just added to it. 

He really didn't want to confront Chan about things, but… the alternative would be worse. 

Finally, he picked up. "Sorry, I was in the middle of dinner." His voice sounded actually kind of cheerful. It instantly made Minho feel worse for what he was about to do.

Before he could even open his mouth, Chan spoke again. "Minho, it's gotta be really early for you.. you should be asleep."

Minho cleared his throat. "Can't sleep."

"Why not?"

He said nothing for a few minutes, leaning back on the pillows behind him and gazing up at the still dark sky outside his window. The stars were still there despite the oncoming dawn. He blinked away the slowly forming tears, knowing full well that they'd both cried more than enough of them in just that week alone.

"...I love you."

Chan let out a huff of disbelieving laughter and then it was his turn to be quiet. "I love you too. What-"

"We have to end this."

It was quiet again. Dead quiet. No shuffling or anything. Then-

"Minho what the fuck."

"I just.. we can't-"

"You just said you loved me."

"I know. And I do."

"Pardon me for not understanding, but why exactly would we break up then?" 

Minho wasn't prepared for the amount of unbridled rage in Chan's voice. Of course, he was completely entitled to that anger, given how all this had just been launched on him out of nowhere.

Chan let out a mirthless laugh- it was sort of scary. "One minute I was eating hamburgers, waiting to tell you that I got an 1543 on my SAT but I guess I don't even get to celebrate anymore."

"Channie, that's great-"

"Don't call me Channie right now."

Minho stayed quiet, the arm that was holding the phone to his ear was trembling and he hand to support his elbow with his other hand as to not let the phone fall.

Chan sighed after a minute or two. It wasn't an angry sigh exactly. More like defeated. "..why?"

It was in this moment Minho opened his mouth to spill all he knew about Felix and why he'd been ignoring Chan, why he'd been so upset, everything. And he paused.

It wasn't his place to interfere with that. He wasn't there. He wasn't there. 

Chan deserved someone like Felix, and if Minho said what he wanted to, he might not get the opportunity to have something with him.

"Because.." he started, pausing when his voice almost cracked. "We can't do it, Chan. We're too young.. it's too far. You are so amazing, and you deserve someone who can be there for you-"

"You are, Minho you are, you have been-"

"-Physically."

Chan didn't have a response for that. The two of them stayed quiet; they both were painfully aware just how right Minho was. Minho watched the first rays of sunlight trickle over the horizon, a dull splash of orange across the dark canvas. The scene radiated such beauty to be happening in one of the most saddening times of his life.

"I'll miss you.." Chan finally said, his voice muffled and soft.

"Not as much as I will."

"Can we still text?" There was a hint of hope still in that beautiful Australian accent that Minho had come to love so much. 

It hurt to crush it.

"Not for a while, I don't think."

"Darn.." Chan said. Minho could hear the delicate, nearly broken smile in his next words. "So it's really goodbye then, huh?"

"For now. It's a goodbye for now."

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There's one more chapter leftttt