Chapter Twenty-Five: Part Two

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I dropped the cloth in the water and backed away from it. It hurt seeing the mark on my neck and knowing just how much Luka despised me. It hurt. It hurt more than I ever thought it would. I shook my head, backing towards the door.

"I can't." I looked at Gamgam and she looked up at me, tears streaking down her cheek. I swallowed thickly. "Luka and I- We did- I can't." I couldn't be in the temple. I couldn't be where we had mated. It hurt too much. The air felt oppressive and Gamgam simply nodded at me.

"Lily will understand." She turned back to her job and I whirled around and bolted, my heart thumping harshly in my chest as I tried put distance between the temple and the images it inspired. The trees were think and the air was cold but I continued running. It was what I was good at after all. Luka had told me as much.

I wiped at my eyes, trying to get rid of the blurriness from the tears as I dashed through the trees. Small branches and bushes scratched at my exposed skin but I ignored the sharp little bursts of pain. They couldn't compare to what I was currently feeling. I had allowed myself to care for him, to open up to him and he had thrown me away like so many others. He was just the same as everyone else I had come across.

I ran until my legs felt like jelly and my breathing was ragged. I ran until I couldn't take another step and collapsed on the edge of a large clearing. I frowned, realizing I had been running in circles. I was standing next to the cemetery, rows of various stones, crosses and other grave markings spread across the clearing. I stared at them, my heart pounding harshly in my chest as I tried to get it to calm down.

I stood up on shaky legs. Moonlight shined down on the clearing, beckoning me forward. I took several stumbling steps forward, my legs burned and wobbled but held me up as I moved into the moonlight. I stared at the names on the markers. The moonlight gave just enough glow to allow me to read the carved letters. I moved passed them all, something was pulling me further into the cemetery. I found myself almost jogging through the rows of graves, my legs protesting the entire time. I was reaching the other edge when I stopped short, my gaze scanning the markers.

Richard Sterling

The name jumped out at me and I looked at empty space beside his grave. It was a space reserved for his mate.

Lily.

It would be where she would lay for eternity. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at it, I didn't want to imagine her in a cold and dark grave but it was something that would happen whether I wanted it to or not. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in before opening them and looking around. I could see a small shed at the edge of the clearing and I didn't have to look into it to know its purpose. I walked over to it. Mene had brought me to the clearing for a reason. She had led me to Lily's resting place for a reason.

Penance.

To dig her grave and in the process lessen the burden of her death off my soul. It hadn't worked with my mother, each shovelful of earth I had pulled from the earth only served to bury me under realization of my actions. Guilt had cemented it in place.

I pulled open the door to the small shed and looked at the numerous shovels that is contained. I let out a small sigh and grabbed the nearest one. It was heavy but it was one thing that deserved its weight. It wasn't meant to be comfortable or light. It was a burden to dig a grave and the tool used to do such an action was a physical representation of that burden. I carried it back to the spot where Lily would rest. The walk wasn't a long one but it weighed down on me all the same. I stopped and stared at the spot for a moment before I set the shovel in front of me, point to the ground and standing tall. I fell to my knees, my forehead pressing to the stained wood of the handle, my hands slightly above my head as I breathed out, trying to ignore the thick feeling I got in my throat.

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