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Author: CassandraHW
Title:Searching for Chi
Favorite chapter: It's hard for me to choose between chapter 1 (Prologue 1) and Chapter 3. These two chapters have my attention to the fullest as it differentiate the journey of these characters age-wise. Be as it may be, I would doubtless pick the first one because it is very vital for every author to keep their reader hooked the minute they read it. The way you define the tiny insignificant memories of Rin's adventure to their place amused me in words I cannot depict. It allows a wild imagination that forecasts the satisfactory level of the readers. The friendships of bondage are portrayed charmingly in a way that there is realistic-ness on how kids at that age would react to things they see and say.
Favorite character: (The reviewer has chosen not to fill this in and/or forgot to. If you wish to hear their thoughts on this matter, please contact the reviewer for more info if you wish.)
Grammar and Spelling: Needs work. See the below recommendations.
1) Incorrect noun form - As the birds' chirps in the trees, the rodents scurry on the path, and a river flows below him, Rin feels more at home than he's felt in a while. (correct) --> As the birds chirps in the trees, the rodents scurry on the path, and a river flows below him, Rin feels more at home than he's felt in a while. (incorrect)
2) Possible missing determiner - They are a myth. (correct) --> They are myth. (incorrect)
3) Two grammar mistake - There are deafening silence among the group. Not even the crickets dared to sing this night. (incorrect) --> There is a deafening silence among the group. Not even the crickets dared to sing tonight. (correct)
4) Uses of punctuation - Soon after, he forces his body up and his bright green eyes creek open. (incorrect) --> Soon after, he forces his body up, and his bright green eyes creek open. (correct)
5) Uses of colon (:) and semi-colon (;) - She can't: It will be too noticeable, too flashy, and the crowds are beginning to get bigger as they head downtown. (incorrect) because between a series of words there are words/items with commas. I can see that you're trying to imply separate independent clauses, but there might be a confusion here. --> She can't: it will be too noticeable, too flashy, and the crowds are beginning to get bigger as they head downtown. (correct)
