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Title: Stories From Your Memories
Author: MustBeAwkwardMagic
Favorite Chapter: Chapter six, there's so much character development here and focus switch. I was glad to see the different storylines running parallel without needing a huge group interaction. Plus it keeps the different relationships strained instead of forcing a friendship.
Favorite Character: Elora, with Claire as a close second. I love the spunky smart mouth and I fell in love with her instantly. There's been that wee upset though and I'm worried about her. She's a strong girl though....she's got this yeah?
Grammar & Spelling: Excellent.
There's a few bits and bobs of awkward wording or miswording but it's really very minor.
I'd also think about sentence structure, most of your sentences are boom, action done and it makes the writing feel a little choppy.
If I wasn't doing a review, I would have clicked the story just by looking at its cover: I'm not sure. I think the major drawback is the title difference between the cover and description. Having Venefica only on the title is a little off putting and I'd think maybe I was reading the wrong thing or a sequel. The hand seems a bit blurry as well but I may just need glasses.
After reading the summary, I wanted to read the story: Yes and no. I assumed it was non-fiction at first but there was that bit of impossible magic that drew me in.
The most likable character is: I can't imagine anyone disliking Mystic, the sweetest bean to ever exist. Honestly I'm waiting for her to snap...or snap someone. So maybe I've got a soft spot for fairies and elves and a peachy fairy won out over southern elves.
The most unlikeable character is: Volk. I don't trust him, I don't want him near the girls, or any kids. I hope he turns out to be part of some crazy plot. I'm not saying I want him to die but maybe he could go away.
The story conveys something that I strongly believe in or care about: It's all about the slow burn friendship for me. So often everyone gets along despite how very very different they are and it makes everything too gooey. I want that rivalry running alongside the friendship, a little enemy of my enemy. This story is full of enough character layers to keep an ogre warm.
Reviewer: skyebme
***
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Story Title: Eppingswood Academy (The First Year)
Author: M_Desmarais
Favorite chapter: Definitely chapter 1, where it's always a good start to the greatest adventure in the magical world! I know it's going to be a great start off, especially when she fainted after receiving some sorts of prophecy from the willow tree. Like I'm so all hooked in it and definitely make me want to flip into the next and next chapter!
Favorite character: Helena Blancoflor (the main character of this story). The story is told based on her point of view where the journey of her life are expressed in the most desirable way every reader wants to read. Her thoughts and inner monologues thrives the little things of her true emotions which reflects her character in the most tangible way.
Grammar & Spelling: I'd say you've a good grasp on grammar and spelling, however, when it comes to the rules of punctuation there are some error here and there.
Ø Helena chimed in, "Mom. It's not that.....," She had finished watering the snapdragons and moved onto another plant in need of watering, "Why did I have to be born without the ability to use magic? It's not fair. It sucks to see both my brothers attending magical schools while I am stuck in the school for nomages. Don't get me wrong, the humans are great- I just hate that I know I could be part of something else but can't. I know witches and wizards my age are just starting to practice magic right about now, but I am still way behind them in terms of innate ability so... I guess either way I am at a disadvantage" (A comma before a closing quote mark is missing in dialogue). Chapter 1.
Ø Even in this sudden change of environment, Helena felt at ease, as if something were preventing her from feeling any negative emotion. Suddenly, before her appeared a white willow tree, it's branches and leaves providing a natural recluse that she felt compelled to move closer to. When she tried to move, however, she was stuck in place, unable to move any closer to the tree. (It's as the possible confuse word where it should actually be its). Chapter 1.
Ø She couldn't understand what the feeling was, but it felt as though it were trying to escape her body. She started hyperventilating and without thinking, she dropped the vase. The next thing she heard was the sound of the vase shattering on the floor and her mother rushing over to her. (Missing out a semicolon at explaining where without thinking, shall change into without thinking;). Chapter 1.
Ø The smell of her father's signature omelets greeted Helena as walked down the staircase and into kitchen. (Missing determiner of 'the'. So it will be into the kitchen). Chapter 2.
Ø Mr Blancoflor spoke as he finished cooking the complete, "You are thinking way too far into the future, Nell. (After abbreviation should be followed with period). Chapter 2.
Ø "Dad. It's not going to rain. I checked the weather last night and it's supposed to be sunny for the next few days. I need to leave now. If I hurry I can get there just in time for math!" (A comma is needed before conjunction if it joins two independent clauses. Thus, it will be the weather last night, and.... ) Chapter 2
*** There are some more punctuation errors but I couldn't typed it all out here. There are no long subordinate clauses which is actually great because readers will not get tack. Hence, the readability enhancement I would range it between good to excellent. So hmu anytime and I'd be glad to help you out with it alright :D ***
If I wasn't doing a review: I would definitely click on it! Come on the cover was done splendidly, and I so intrigued with it, The first time when I look at the cover after knowing it's a story that involves witches, wizards, spells and an academy it kind of reminds me of The Chilling Adventure With Sabrina! It gives the adventure, mysterious and dark fantasy vibe and I just can't wait to hop and dive into the book. When I did, it's the best thing I have ever done honestly.
After reading the summary: I would definitely read the story because who wouldn't like a mysterious magic or spells versus teenagers hormones wars! Definitely a catchy review from authors and very thoughtful in cultivating the story plot. It gives the idea of what the story is about but the enigmatic elements are still shadowed by a series of "to be" discovered events. I would seriously recommend it to readers out there to reckon this book!
The most likable character is/The most unlikeable character is: As for this I wouldn't want to comment on the favourite and least favourite character because I find it hard to judge it in the beginning of the story especially when there's a possibility of new character to emerge! The story hasn't complete yet, hence, I will not judge the character just yet but feel free to hear my thoughts privately :D
The story conveys something that I strongly believe in or care about: Terminologies are used at its finest and I find that the strong imaginary idea are presents. Thus, it gave me the idea how the story is conveyed bits by bits. Every words/elements presents give the authenticity to the stories and I love it when you use the logic and the real definition of plants and understood them well. I'm able to dive into the story feeling like I'm in that journey as Helena and the adventure and the mystery behind it are tremendously brilliant! The flow of the story creates a spark of curiosity in readers, to know more and engaged on it. A spectacular job was done in illustrating the conundrum behind every character in their own way of peculiarity: it reflects the identity of the character in the best possible way. Great job you did there!
