Queen of the Clueless #2 of 3 (COMPLETE)

Chapter 19

At some point my mind was so filled with stuff that I had gone on autopilot, heading toward the bonfire instead of out the gate and home which I actually wanted to do. When I realized it, I was already back in the crowd, watching the large flames dangerously lick at the night sky.

"Hannah."

Hannahhhhhhh.

Oh please. I did not have the time for this.

"Vida," I said, instinctively turning to one side and finding her highness right next to me. "Not tonight."

She was smiling at me. Actually, at my arm. A few months ago, she sort of touched my wrist and for a moment it looked like a bright, glowing bracelet attached itself to me, but it disappeared and I hadn't seen it since. Or I had just imagined the whole thing.

Her smile right then, it looked like maybe she was enjoying the control she had as she was the main attraction of the night's festivities again, and not Kathy the reality show star. "You're not there yet."

"I know, I know, let's just get this over with. Are you done?"

"You should enjoy yourself. It's a party."

"I don't like fire."

I backed out of this conversation, accidentally stepping on someone's toes, and when I looked up to offer a quick apology I found out whose toes they were.

"Hannah!"

"Ms. Farrah." My voice was usually more respectful, but I couldn't help it. "What happened with Ms. Cabral? Why is Quin—? Why does he even know you were asking around about her?"

Ms. Farrah was more apologetic than she ever needed to be. I knew that in my head, but I did nothing to make her stop. "He promised he wouldn't say anything!"

"Say what?"

"I saw Denise. She had a small birthday party recently, with some of the faculty. It's where I asked her if she was seeing anybody. Quin was there too."

"So, is she?"

"Seeing anybody? I'm not sure."

"What do you mean, not sure? It's a yes or a no."

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand what she meant, and then Quin came over and interrupted us, and I didn't get any alone time with her anymore..."

My brain started to hurt. But each time it throbbed, it was my heart that hurt. "What did she say?"

"She said, 'Soon I finally can.' Sorry, I don't understand."

Cheers erupted and we both looked in the direction of the fire. But everyone was looking at the facade of the Student Center, where a large tarpaulin banner had just been unfurled.

Congratulations, seniors. Graduation was six weeks away.

Why would Quin even be at that birthday party? I understood more than she did.

"I'm really sorry," Ms. Farrah said.

I should have trained my devotees to be stealthier. More effective. "Next time, just—"

Next time what? Try to outwit the Sun God? It was no use. "Whatever. I'm going home," I said.

The gate. I willed myself to head to the gate this time. My headache was getting worse, and the happy people pushing against me, all giddy about graduating, didn't help at all.

"Hannah."

"Oh god all right already!" was my immediate response, only to turn around and see Robbie. "I'm sorry."

He looked confused, and then crushed. I knew he was crushed because I felt it, like his own heart had punched his gut. "I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something?" he asked.

"No no, I'm so sorry. I just want to go home."

"I'll walk you."

"No, don't let me keep you from the party."

"I'm not a senior. It's not for me, I don't care about this. I'd rather walk with you."

I paused for a moment, and tried to tune out all the noise in my head—the partying college students, the fire hazard, the pretty teacher, the mean girl, the scary guy on the roof, the unexpected first kiss.

And found that Robbie meant every word he was saying, and the one thing he was afraid of right then was that I was going to walk away.

How nice, to have a simple fear like that. I conveniently had the solution for it.

"I would like that please," I said. I took his hand, and as his fingers accepted mine I felt my headache lose its power. It must have shown in my face because he looked at me with such warmth, and he started feeling better. Which felt just awesome. A chain reaction of feeling not-crappy. It felt like, if I let it go on, I could actually feel safe and secure again.

Shouldn't love be like this?