Queen of the Clueless #2 of 3 (COMPLETE)

Chapter 20

I'm watching a fire.

It's a monster of a fire. It's consuming all that I can see, raging red and orange and yellow and black. I'm watching it and I'm so sad, so full of regret.

I'm crying.

Is this all my fault?

When will this end?

"Everything ends," says a voice that comes from nowhere but is everywhere all the same.

But it's taking so long, I say.

"If what was lost can be restored in a heartbeat—"

I know, I know, then it was never lost at all. But this is so painful to watch.

"It should be."

Do you know where he is?

"Yes."

Will I have to wait long?

"For you the wait would be long, yes."

The words that come from nowhere make me feel like the fire is here for me. My tears mingle with mist mingled with smoke.

Father? I say this and realize that I shouldn't. Should I wait?

"It doesn't matter what I say."

Of course it does.

"Not to you."

I'm such an amateur at this. I already decided, didn't I? I decided not to wait.

The voice does not respond.

* * *

I woke up very early the next morning, sure that Quin wanted to talk to me.

He didn't call, or text, or anything else. All I knew was it was five a.m., a full hour and a half before my alarm clock was set to ring, but I couldn't get back to sleep. So I showered, brushed my teeth, made instant coffee in a plastic tumbler, and locked the door on my way out.

When I got to the roof of the North building, true enough, they were already there. From lazy autopilot mode, my defense mechanisms suddenly came alive, for various reasons.

Reason number one, Vida, in a black business suit, red scarf around her neck. Like an evil receptionist, looking out toward the graduation tarp she had unveiled at the bonfire. I didn't realize she would be there. She was never there when I talked to Quin about god stuff. Seeing her around always made me feel like I was being tested.

Number two, Diego, still in last night's clothes, sitting on a concrete block, yawning at the floor. When he saw me the look on his face barely changed, and yet all of my insides suddenly warmed up. It wasn't even him—it was that blasted make-out session, and seeing him just made me relive it just a little.

Number three, Quin. I had a moment to take it in, how he always looked great in the morning, but he looked like he was ready to growl at me.

Panic attack, not knowing how to defend against all three. So I sort of laughed. "Okay, let's start this meeting," I went, just as annoyingly cheery as I wanted to be.

"What happened last night?" Quin demanded.

Not in the mood for pleasantries then.

"A lot of things happened last night." I wasn't sure what he and the teacher had been up to, but no one's night could have been more overwhelming than mine. I blinked and hoped Quin wasn't reading my mind.