I was already awake but was scared to open my eyes. I knew that what happened last night was a one-night stand and I was afraid that when I'd open my eyes I would find him sleeping beside me. I wasn't ready for the awkward post-sex hi-hello.
Pero, hindi pwedeng hindi ka tumayo, Eira. Baka naman maihi ka rito sa kama, mas nakakahiya 'yun kaysa kinakatakutan mong batian n'yo sa umaga.
But what do you say after a one-night stand? Do you talk? Do you praise each other's performance? Do you ask him to leave or do you offer him breakfast first?
Shit naman...may proper etiquette ba 'to? I thought to myself as I pretended to stretch my arms towards the space beside me.
My eyes flew open when I found it empty.
"Wow...fuck and run si Kuya..."
It was weird how disappointed I felt when I realized that he had left. But what the hell did I expect? Definitely not cuddling; cuddling is for lovers.
But I thought that he was different because he was so warm last night.
"Natural warm s'ya, he was trying to get into your pants. Ngayong nakuha na n'ya ang gusto n'ya..."
I felt the tell-tale pickling of tears behind my eyes.
"Shit ka, Eira, h'wag kang iiyak..." I whispered as my tears traveled down the side of my face. "H'wag kang iiyak sabi, eh..." I repeated as I started to sob.
I wasn't even sure why I was crying. Maybe because I realized that I had lost something to someone and I didn't know what to do about it.
Plus, it didn't help that I only knew the name of the person I'd lost it to and he did not even bother saying goodbye.
Kumalma ka, this is your emotions talking. Walang pumilit sa'yo, ginusto mo kaya panindigan mo, I said resolutely closing my eyes to prevent more tears.
I got off the bed, headed to the bathroom, and then sat on the toilet for minutes. I felt so hollow and so lonely. And so fucking stupid.
Talaga ba, Girl? Nakipag-one-night stand ka? 'Di ba ang usapan natin gagawin mo lang 'yun sa taong mahal mo?
I shook my head hoping to shake my gloomy thoughts off. "Shit na 'yan, woman up. Women stand by their decisions, you can't run away from yours. Besides you enjoyed it. I would give it a 10 out of 10 for a first time experience. Kung pwede nga lang mag-iwan ng review para sa performance ni Ignatius Brennon Moore ay baka nag-highly recommended pa ako sa kanya..."
Absolutely fantastic, I came twice... I said inside my head imagining what my write-up about Iggy would be. Excellent bedside manners, truly a pro.
For some reason, I started laughing.
"Fuck, Eira, you are losing your mind," I declared out loud before I rose to my feet then flushed the toilet.
I didn't want to feel any kind of bitterness towards Iggy because I would like to think that I knew exactly what I would get myself into when I had invited him inside my hotel room.
"Masuwerte ka, s'ya ang first time mo because he made sure that you'd enjoy the experience," I continued my monologue as I stepped under the shower then turned it on. "You used protection so you're safe..." I confidently added ripping open the small packet containing the bath soap that was on the shelf.
Anong oras na ba? Siguro maaga pa naman or else the front desk would have called me to ask if I'm going to extend my stay...
I shampooed my waist-length hair, rinsed myself, toweled my hair and body dry and realized much to my dismay that there was only one towel on the rack. I decided to walk into the room naked after I was done brushing my teeth.
