"I can't do it" I said
"Come on baby you have to learn to fight for when I'm not here anymore, I won't be here to protect you" she said
I turned to her "Mom this is too much why can't we just go back with dad"
"Avianna! shut up and do it" she shoute...
Recap since it's been a minute: Avi has epilepsy, the boys tracked down Alejandro (Avianna's step dad/ abuser) and need to go take care of him the boys planned on leaving Avianna with their aunt while they deal with him but Avianna pressed the boys to let her go, and her friends asked her to go to the beach
That's it I think...
PLEASE READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END🦋
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I didn't go to the beach.
I honestly wasn't feeling it and told the girls and they understood but I still felt bad.
A few days had past since then, school is in a few days which made it the last weekend of freedom.
Honestly I don't know how I feel about going back to school, I haven't been back since the shooting, a lot has happened since then lets recap
My nightmares have been out of control since that day so that's awesome, and im almost 16 and need one of my brothers to sleep with me at night so I dont have one. I have epilepsy and need to take medication to control it because there's no cure, I've had at least two seizures since then and, can have one any second. My headaches are still here but I dont want to tell my brothers or else we'll need to go back to the hospital for testing. Oh and lets not forget we have to go out of the country to most likely kill my "step dad" who abused me most of my life.
Life is amazing.
Right now Im in my safe space, the music room in front of the piano im supposed to be cleaning my room or whatever but I didn't feel like it.
I haven't played since before the hospital. I dont know why but my fingers crave to play but my mind is kind of shut off at the moment, at least music wise.
I stood up from my seat and went over to the bin where all the sheets of music were in and picked up "Never enough" its not a classic or anything just a song from a movie but the lyrics really hit me.
Walking back to the piano I placed the sheet on the stand and read over the music a bit and let my hand do the playing.
Though my mind was reading it, I still managed to shut it off and just focus on the notes I was playing.
I put so much emotion into this song, my hands were playing at rapid speed, as my vision blurred.
And I started crying.
Crying for my epilepsy, Crying because of Alejandro who although he isn't here, he still manages to affect me. Crying for my brothers who I've brought nothing but trouble into their life. Crying for my mom who stopped loving me for reasons I don't know. Crying for me, because I'm broken.
My head began to pound but I didn't stop playing I pushed the pain away and hit the notes with aggression as I sobbed.
Suddenly I felt arms wrap around me pull me away from the piano and onto the couch. I dont know who it was or what they were saying but I didn't care, as I clung onto them and cried.
