Fools in Love

13. Flip Flops, But Not Like the Shoes

I wish I had some idea how to properly interact with the rest of the human race. Perhaps I should look into reading a manual. There's plenty of different "How To" books out there. Surely there must be one that speaks of communication, friendliness, and apologies. I'm in dire need of one now seeing as, for the last few days, Matt hasn't said a word to me nor I to him.

I check my phone over and over only to realize; there's nothing. No correspondence or attempts to chat, which isn't unusual. I tell myself this time and time again. Matt and I don't text everyday, but after the movie, after dinner, I don't know I thought that we would, I guess? We aren't talking at all and he won't even look at me in class. Something is off. Something is very wrong. I want to apologize, but what for?

The date? What Jeremiah said? How I didn't immediately stand up for him?

How embarrassing. I'm such a fucking loser, never being able to speak my mind when I really need to. The internet always makes me feel like shit, reading about how all these people are able to stand up and defend others so easily while claiming it's the right thing to do and others should do the same in their position. I think back to what I would do and realize I'd cower in a corner, become the bystander that did nothing that everyone hates. I wish I was brave.

In the end, another day passes without talking. I go to work where I make so many mistakes that my uniform is basically ruined by the end of the night. The smell is so atrocious that Becky stays on the other side of the room, pinching her nose with a very telling expression. I can't help it that I ended up spilling nearly every condiment at least once this evening. I slipped on the floor while mopping, managing to kick over the bucket too so the dirty water spread across the floor and my pants.

Returning to the dorms, I overhear Tori grumble from the room, "Whoa, what the hell is that smell?"

"Dana!" He shouts, spotting me kicking off my shoes. He's sitting at his desk, grimacing upon realizing what that smell is. "Ok, be honest with me. Did you die and a necromancer reanimated your rotting corpse? Because you, my good friend, smell fucking terrible."

I only sigh, grab clean clothes and slip into the bathroom.

"Take that shit to the laundry asap!" Tori calls from outside the door. "Our dorm is gonna smell for days just from you coming in!"

Another sigh.

This has been a terrible, terrible day.

Tori is right though so those nasty ass clothes are taken to the laundry room immediately. By the time I return, he has finished up his homework and found a comfortable position in bed. Smiling, he asks, "Bad day?"

"Mhm."

"What happened?"

"I was a klutz."

Tori snickers. "That's nothing new."

"Why do you hurt me?" I groan when flinging myself onto bed, twisting into the blankets until I've become a Dana-rito. My phone rests on the bedside table. Although there's no noise, not even a vibration, I continuously check as if I expect it to light up with a text. A text that never comes.

Inevitably, I snatch that phone along with my headphones. Tori is busy chuckling over some youtube video. Rather than disturb him, or risk him sticking his nose in this, I put in my headphones and fall to the ultimate low.

I look up interviews with Matt in hopes to learn something that could lead to me successfully apologizing. Most of the interviews are old, not surprising seeing as it's been two years since he has been in anything. Some are with co-stars where I thought Matt would put on a show for the camera, but he's his quiet self, sitting next to them with his usual soft voice and almost shy demeanor. I'm a little shocked when one of his older co-stars brings it up, a sort of friendly taunt as he ruffles Matt's hair.